Page 54 of A Wedding Negotiation with Her Boss

‘Gabriel, we’ve done all the talking we need to do. I’ve told you how I feel.’ Her protest sounded weak even to her own ears.

‘But I am yet to tell you howIfeel.’

He circled her arm and gently began ushering her out of the towering glass skyscraper.

It was busy, with people everywhere, inside the building and outside.

‘Please, Helen,’ he said quietly, although she hadn’t protested. He dropped her arm and stood back, giving her the chance to blow him off and she wondered what he would do, how he would persuade her to hear him out, if she did.

Surely he couldn’t blame her for her reluctance. How could he? He’d made sure to bang on about being unavailable, handing her so many warning notices that she could have papered a room with them. On top of that, she knew his form. Knew him inside out.

‘Okay, but then I’m going to meet Lucy.’

‘Thank you.’

He was crazy about her?She wanted to ask him to clarify but she wasn’t going to.

They walked briskly round the corner to a wine bar that was brimming with people, full inside and with clusters of after-work groups hanging around outside, drinks in hand, relaxing after a week at it. The thought of joining them as she resumed life as a single ready to mingle was daunting.

They found a seat, which came as no surprise, because he was the sort of guy whofound seats.

‘Well?’ They were both sitting with two glasses of wine in front of them. Helen looked at him and her heart skipped a beat. It hadn’t been the same, being at the office without him there, knowing that she was saying goodbye to what had been a huge part of her life for years. She’d been giddy with misery and exhausted from having to put a smile on her face so that Julie didn’t expect anything.

She’d managed to vaguely say something about having to quit because of personal problems, and it had been left there. To look as miserable as she’d felt would have courted the sort of quiet curiosity she hadn’t thought she could bear.

‘Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking, Helen. The past week has been...’ He shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair in a gesture of wearied frustration. ‘A mess for me.’

Helen lowered her eyes, blocked her mind from playing fanciful games and made an effort to stick to the programme.

‘I’m sorry about the lack of notice. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t thought that it would be for the best.’

‘Naturally.’

‘I may have dealt with a broken engagement but I’d had the chance to leave, to make sure I put some distance between me and George. But to continue working for you after everything that happened? It wouldn’t have been the sort of comfortable working environment I could have dealt with. And then, you would have picked up where you left off with other women... No, that’s not something I felt I had to put up with.’

‘I admit I’ve—not been exemplary when it comes to longevity and women,’ Gabriel admitted heavily.

‘That’s the understatement of the year.’ She gulped down some wine and tried not to wince at the size of the mouthful. ‘It’s not just that...’ She sighed, fiddled with the stem of the glass and realised that, although there was noise all around them, the buzz of people laughing and talking, they seemed to be caught in a little silent bubble of their own.

‘That...what?’

‘It’s not just that you haven’t had longevity with any of the women you’ve dated. It’s the fact that you’re just not interested in having a serious, committed relationship with anyone. It’s not a case that no woman has come along who captured your imagination. You haven’t been looking for love and failing to find it. You’re just not interested in looking at all.’

‘You know my back story.’

‘I know your childhood was an unhappy one, Gabriel.’ She looked at him with empathetic, serious eyes which were nevertheless unflinching. ‘If you’ve chosen to let that determine all the choices you make when it comes to involvement with someone else, then that’s your business. I’ve had my fair share of learning curves as well, but in the end life goes on.’

‘Yes, it does, and I’ve finally seen that.’

‘What do you mean?’

When she looked at her glass, she was surprised to see that it was empty. She couldn’t remember gulping down more wine but she must have done. He topped up her glass and she didn’t stop him. There was nothing wrong with a little Dutch courage.

‘You’re right,’ Gabriel said simply. ‘I’ve always let my past determine my present and my future. My parents were absent, so wrapped up in themselves and in the business of having fun that there was never any real point of reference for me growing up. They seldom made it to parents’ meetings when I was at boarding school. They never bothered with sports days. They couldn’t. They were usually not in the country and it never occurred to them to make an effort to try to be. At the end of each term, I was collected by one of the staff, ferried to a private jet and taken wherever it was arranged I should go and, during the holidays, they might or might not have popped in.’

‘I know. I feel so sorry for you. Money really doesn’t buy everything, does it?’

Gabriel smiled with bitter irony. ‘No, my darling, it doesn’t. And yet for a long time I deluded myself into thinking that the only things I wanted were the things it could buy. It was my default position. There was safety in things that were tangible—in houses and cars and boats. Emotions? Love? Those were the things that caused pain and damage, and so those were the things to be avoided at all costs.’

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