Page 47 of A Wedding Negotiation with Her Boss

‘A road between the two?’ Her head was swimming. It felt as though she’d started out on a straightforward merry-go-round ride, holding hands with the guy she’d fallen for, only to discover very quickly that after the merry-go-round came the ghost train and the guy she’d been holding hands with had disappeared just when she’d banked on him being there next to her.

It was disorienting, yet she kept a smile on her face while her mind continued to whirl.

She would have liked to place her hand firmly over that beautiful mouth but she also knew that she had to hear what he was going to say until there was nothing left to hear.

‘There’s no chaos with you,’ he said simply. ‘By which I mean, we’re both on the same page. You don’t do hysterics. You take me for the man I am, and you don’t want to turn me into a man I will never be.’ His voice was low, persuasive and thoughtful. ‘I can see life with you because we complement one another, no questions asked.’

‘So what you’re saying is that we could get married and it would be a bit like a—business arrangement? One where all the right boxes get ticked and so it makes sense?’

‘That makes it sound a whole lot less—hot than it is.’ Gabriel’s voice roughened and the vision of the sexuality between them charged the air with sudden electricity.

In a heartbeat, Helen knew where he was coming from. He had been hurt by his parents and had come to see them as an example of what love could do to a person, how it could consume and take over until two people got lost in one another to the exclusion of everyone else.

He’d been young when those impressions had been formed and, over the years, they had been cemented inside him as indisputable fact. In a way, not so different from her. She had embedded herself in the notion that safety was the top priority, because that was the lesson she had been taught growing up by her very protective father, and it was only when she had come to London to work and live that another reality had presented itself.

With Gabriel, he’d lived his life buried in the unemotional world of a high-octane work life with women as an enjoyment on the side-lines. He picked them up, he dropped them and they all seemed to blend into one another. Having worked alongside him for such a long time, she had long ago recognised the pattern.

Had the situation with Fifi changed something inside him? He’d pretty much said so himself. She had presented him with romance and an ultimatum, and he had ditched both at speed, but perhaps that had made him realise that he wasn’t getting any younger and that settling down was really something he felt would work on some level.

And of course, having found family to embrace him, he had seen the other side of the coin when it came to marriage and family links.

He had glimpsed a middle road, a safe road where love wasn’t a threat but companionship was a possibility—and here she was, fitting the bill. She was a known quantity. She was his efficient secretary who didn’t make demands and always kept a cool head. She was also his lover now, and the sex was amazing.

So what if she’d told him that he wasn’t her type? As it turned out, that was a lie, because he was very much her type and no doubt he’d sensed that. They were lovers and he knew just how much she wanted him. They wanted one another and they got along and, without love to complicate things, he had gravitated towards a proposal that made sense for him.

But for her?

It had been hard enough doing what she was doing now, having a sexual relationship with him while they were here because she was in love and she was greedy to make the most of him while she could. She knew that once they were back in London she would have to start looking for another job, because just facing him in the office would be tough.

So, a life with him from which there was no exit plan; being with him all the time, wanting more than he could give and taking the crumbs that were offered; a life of hiding how she really felt, knowing that to speak her feelings would be to risk it all: she couldn’t begin to contemplate that.

‘Gabriel, there must be a lot of other women out there you could find to fill the role.’

‘Stop being so unemotional about it,’ he said, only part in jest, just the slightest of frowns beginning.

‘But isn’t that what this is about?’ she countered quietly. ‘It would be a marriage, maybe not of convenience, but a marriage without emotion.’

‘There would be a lot of emotion...’ He smiled slowly and reached out to stroke her cheek, which made the breath hitch in her throat. ‘I can guarantee that.’

‘Sex isn’t an emotion, Gabriel.’

‘I feel I can convince you that it is. Anyway, it’s not just the sex. It’s the mutual respect we have for one another and the fact that we get along.’

‘Thank you for the offer, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to say no.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to marry you.’

‘Why? You don’t mean that.’ He raked his fingers through his hair. His frown had deepened; he was perplexed.

‘I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.’

‘Then explain.’

‘Because,’ she said flatly, ‘I suppose I know what love feels like, and if I enter into another long-term relationship then I don’t want to think that I’m sacrificing my chance to find it again in favour of practicality.’

She looked away from him because it was easier to be composed when she could ignore his dark eyes resting on her. ‘I want the crazy declarations of love, Gabriel. Yes, sure, the sex is good between us—okay, the sex is great between us—and you like and respect me, which is nice, but in between those two things? That’s what I want. I want the thing that’s in between. I want to be the person the man I marry just can’t live without. I want all the highs and the lows and the stormy arguments that bring us closer together. I want the excitement of planning babies together. I want all the passion that has nothing to do with sex, and that relationship—’

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