Page 12 of A Wedding Negotiation with Her Boss

They had been neighbours, two vast estates sitting alongside one another. His parents had chosen to use their sprawling house as a base, leaving the upkeep of it to other people so that they could travel the world and do very little, aside from have fun. But Terry and Caro, considerably older, had seldom travelled, preferring to enjoy their surroundings and taking pride in everything they did to their house and its huge grounds.

The couples had met over drinks at the local members-only club and somehow it had been established, in not so many words, that Terry and his wife would somehow ‘keep an eye’ on Gabriel when he was on his own, with only two nannies and various employees there to supervise him.

In hindsight, Gabriel wondered what Terry and his wife had made of the situation. What had they thought of his parents who had had the freedom to indulge in one another and pursue their heady, selfish lives of uninterrupted enjoyment, in receipt of their huge passive income from family holdings which had been set up to virtually to run itself, thanks to people who had been put in place years before? They’d never said and he’d never asked. He’d formed his own conclusions about his parents all by himself.

From the age of six, he could remember the older couple swinging by for him, gathering him up to take him out for ice-cream, a meal somewhere, some fun fair or other that had been passing through or to hit some balls on the three-hole golf course they had had landscaped, because Terry had been fanatical about the game.

Through all this, his own parents had been globetrotting, descending now and again with armfuls of gifts from whatever exciting countries they’d visited. They would stay for a couple of weeks, just time to catch their breath, then once again would come the round of nannies and caretakers and, through it all, Terry and Caro picking up the slack.

At the age of eleven, he’d been shipped to boarding school in England, never to return to America to live, but always keeping up with the childless couple who had been there for him, especially following his parents’ deaths. He had leant on them as a source of support in his own solitary, independent way.

So looking at his watch, being distracted enough to wind up the evening prematurely? Unacceptable. And yet he had been on edge, his thoughts returning to his secretary and that sudden unexpected glimpse of fire simmering beneath the cool, placid surface.

One flame—the glimmer of a burning spark... How much more to see? Where had she been hiding that fire?

Somewhere deep inside, he recognised that that flame had always been there, flickering steadily behind the contained demeanour. She would lower her eyes and half-smile at something he’d said and he’d feel that feathery frisson, as though something had passed very softly over his skin.

It was a reaction no other woman had ever been able to rouse in him, and he had always uncomfortably pushed it aside, but out here... Out here, the barriers had been broken through. Heck, that was why he’d spent the evening with her in his head.

He didn’t want to be curious but he was. He didn’t want to think about her as a woman he wanted to touch, but he did. Had he always wanted to touch her? It was an unsettling thought. He wondered whether the fiasco with Fifi had shifted something inside him, made him confront a life spent without any commitment whatsoever. A life spent indulging his own physical desires whilst shrugging off the responsibility of taking those desires and trying to turn them into something more significant.

That was an unsettling thought. Was he so different from his parents? Wasn’t all self-indulgence the same, even if no kids were involved?

He would never make the mistake of handing over his heart to anyone, of losing control emotionally, but was there some other way that didn’t involve a parade of beauties coming and going without ever leaving a dent in his life?

And, underneath all those discomforting questions, the image of his quiet but curiously compelling secretary shimmered and beckoned.

He’d made his excuses and left with the sun still shining and the evening barely beginning.

He reckoned the only way to take his mind away from those forbidden places was to work. He would head back to his cottage and throw himself into work, and by morning whatever passing fever that seemed to afflict him would be gone.

Truth was, whatever passing fever this was, ithadto go because he had no intention of doing anything that could possibly jeopardise the vital working relationship he had with his secretary. Temptation could be fought and conquered. There was no choice here.

She was the best he’d ever had. They were tuned into one another in ways that never failed to astonish him. She was so much cleverer than she probably gave herself credit for and he was amazed she hadn’t taken her qualifications much further and gone to bigger, more rewarding places. Not that he was complaining. He wasn’t. He made sure to pay her what she deserved and then double, ensuring loyalty.

She liked her privacy and he’d made sure never to overstep boundary lines, even though they puzzled him. Surely lightening up a little wasn’t a crime? Even when she was with some of her colleagues, he could see that underneath the laughter and the gossip there was always something holding her back. Why?

That was a curiosity he had always made sure never to indulge. She was smart enough to get a damn good job anywhere and he was smart enough to make sure he kept her close. But what made her tick? Had there been a man in her life? Was there someone? No one? Surely there were guys out there who could see just what he saw—a woman with depth and substance who was as sexy as hell underneath whatever drab outfits she chose to wear?

Because they were out here didn’t mean he was going to play fast and loose with three years’ worth of sensible good intentions, however. And Gabriel knew himself well.Sensiblegood intentions andwomendidn’t always go hand in hand. He enjoyed women. He liked the thrill of the chase and, if boredom inevitably followed, that didn’t negate the thrill of the chase.

He enjoyed women but the chase always ended and that was how he liked it. Until now. Who wanted to play catch for ever? But that didn’t mean the only alternative was love.

Love, to Gabriel, was a destructive force. That was what he had learnt from his own parents. It burnt like a raging fire, out of control and all-consuming. His parents had loved one another to the exclusion of everything and everyone, including him.

Why else would they have left him to his own devices from the time he’d been able to walk? They had been so involved with one another that there had been nothing left over to give him or anyone. They had both been only children, heirs to vast personal fortunes, and they had done nothing with their lives but take advantage of the privileges of their birth. Maybe, if they had needed to work, reality might have made an appearance at some point but they hadn’t. They’d been the original trust-fund children with the world at their disposal.

And love? It had made them selfish and single-minded. It was a blessing they had both died together because he was sure that neither would have survived for long without the other. If the only people they’d needed were each other, then removing one would have killed the other. So, love?Thanks, but no thanks.The thought of ever putting himself in the position of being vulnerable in a life where his heart made the decisions and his head obeyed was repugnant.

Yes, there had been other examples of love. Terry and Caro were one of them, but they were few and far between, and for Gabriel the very prospect of handing himself over to someone else was to be avoided at all costs.

He could identify with Helen’s need for control because it was a trait he shared with her.

Maybe, down the line, he would contemplate marriage, which admittedly had certain advantages—who could maintain a revolving carousel of women for ever? But, as and when that time came, it would be a well-considered situation with a woman with whom the primary aim would be compatibility—two adults who got along. No highs and lows, no agonising and no vulnerability. Affection made a lot more sense than love, and even he knew that the time came when passion ran its course.

So the women in his life came and went and he never bothered to fight temptation when it came to sex. Two consenting adults made for a very happy equation. He never made promises he couldn’t keep and never spoke about a future he knew wouldn’t happen. Only now had the ground begun to shift under his feet.

It was frustrating to realise that he was somehow starting to think of Helen as more than just the quiet, understated woman who worked so well alongside him; beginning to see what he had successfully managed to ignore for three years. But he couldn’t afford to think of her in any other terms. He would have to make sure his head did the thinking and his body did the obeying.

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