Page 19 of Stay

I look again to make sure no one else is anywhere close to hearing this conversation. Ruby says something and they all crack up, Felicity’s head falling back as she laughs. My hands fist and uncurl when I see Owen and Dakota over by her, laughing too.

I look at my brothers and Jamison. “I’ll say this once. I’m a judge. I have a moral responsibility to behave ethically. She’s taking care of my son. She’s thirteen years younger and fresh out of college. There’s no fucking way anything will be happening between us. End of story.”

“Wow, you’ve really mathed that out,” Wyatt says.

When I glare at him yet again, he just shrugs with his dumb smirk.

But as I watch Felicity chatter easily with my family the rest of the night, my nerve endings on alert, I can literallyfeelwhere she is in the room at all times.

This day with her has been one of the best days I can remember.

I realize what I told my brothers was more formybenefit than theirs.

Nothing can happen.

The next morning, after tossing and turning all night, I’m up and ready for the day an hour earlier than usual. As I get my laptopand some files together, I notice that the light over the garage is on. It’s still an hour and a half before Owen has to leave for school, so when he comes out of his room already dressed too, I call it.

“Happy Cow this morning?” I ask.

“Yes!” he yells, doing a little jump and hip bump against me. “Let’s ask Felicity.”

“Oh, I thought we could go and come back. We can get something for her.”

“But if she goes with us, we can find out what she likes, and she needs to meet Lar and Mar,” Owen says.

“It’s so much earlier than we told her to be ready though.” I shake my head. The plan is for us to drop off Owen together so she knows where the school is, and then I’ll drop her back at the house afterwards and be on my way to work.

Owen’s already looking out the window.

“But her light is on,” he says.

“She’s going to need time to herself sometimes too, son,” I remind him.

Owen gasps. “She just walked outside!”

“She did?”

I’m torn between telling him to stop watching her and asking what she’s doing. My brain trips over itself and I don’t say anything.

“She’s stretching,” he says. “Come on, let’s see if she wants to go with us.”

He’s pulled on his coat and is out there before I can stop him, and I groan. We’ll need a more in-depth conversation about boundaries.

I grab my leather briefcase, the last gift from my granddad before he passed. When I step outside, I’m reminded of what he told me when he gave it to me. I’ve thought about it often,depending on how heavy my workload or the gravity of the case I’m working on.

But now, with Felicity’s ass in the air, exquisitely wrapped in skintight yoga pants as she bends down to touch her toes, I find myself thinking about what he said for different reasons.

“When I saw what this briefcase was called, I knew it was for you. The Beast of Burden,” Granddad said, chuckling. “Could anything be more fitting for you, son? You don’t make any decision lightly.” He shook his head and there was a glint in his eyes when he looked at me then. “Keep trusting your gut. Your brain is sharp and wise, but letthiscarry the load.” He held up the bag when he said that last part and squeezed my shoulder. “Lord knows you had to grow up faster than you should’ve, and when you become a judge—well, I just hope that every time you leave the courtroom, you’ll remember to be that carefree boy you keep buried way down deep inside.”

Fuck me.

I can be carefree all day long when it comes to pushing Owen or my siblings to live their best lives, but when it comes to me, I don’t have that luxury. Granddad and Grinny aren’t the only ones who made sacrifices when my parents died. I did too, and I have no regrets about the way it shaped my life. It was my honor to help carry the load of raising my brothers and sister along with them. Theonlything I’d change would be to have my mom and dad back.

I’ll miss them every day of my life.

“Good morning,” Owen calls out.

“Oh, hey.” Felicity smiles at us with her head between her legs, still upside down.

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