“Elio.” Caterina puts her hand on my arm.
I turn.
“We don’t have time to call the doctor to come here. Let’s take her to the emergency room.”
“The emergency…” I repeat, my mouth slow to catch up with my mind.
“It’s just faster. Just a precaution. Come on. Let’s go.”
The ride to the emergency room is the most terrifying that I have ever taken. My knuckles are white on the steering wheel, and Caterina has to repeatedly remind me of the fact that should we get pulled over, there will be significantly more time until we arrive, and that dealing with the police is not in my best interest.
Inside, I say to myself that police can be bribed. Especially the ones who live near our home, who are already on my payroll.
When we get to the emergency room, there are nurses everywhere. They tell us to sit down, and Caterina and I do, placing Luna between us.
Caterina places a hand on her forehead. “I think the fever’s breaking through the Tylenol.”
“How can I help?” I ask.
I have no idea what to do. I feel so powerless, and it makes me both angry and frightened.
Caterina nods at the front desk. “Can you fill out that paperwork?”
I bring the form to her and begin to fill it out. “Is she allergic to anything?”
“Yes, she’s allergic to duck eggs.”
I frown. “Really?”
“Yeah. It’s a random allergy. What’s next?”
“Reactions to medication?”
“None,” she responds.
One by one, we go down the questions on the questionnaire, each one a new piece of knowledge about this child that is mine. When the form is complete, I bring it back to the nurse, and she nods, informing me kindly that it will only be a moment.
I resist the urge to tell her that if that is not the case, there will be consequences.
I sit with Caterina, who is gently patting Luna’s hair, moving the strands around with her slim fingers.
Luna looks… tired. Her cheeks are flushed, and her normally stubborn face is lax as she sleeps on Caterina’s legs.
That form was… informative.
“Elio. What’s wrong?”
I sigh. “I couldn’t have filled out that form by myself.”
“What do you mean?”
Caterina’s fingers are still gently running through Luna’s hair, and I watch them with envy.
“I didn’t know anything on the form. I couldn’t tell them if she’s allergic to anything or if she missed any developmental milestones. I couldn’t come close to guessing that she was allergic to duck eggs. I know almost nothing about her,” I finish, sadly looking down at the child sleeping in Caterina’s lap.
“Elio,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “I just… are you certain you want her to know that I’m her father?”