Page 69 of Cruel Saint

She continued to trace her fingers over each scar, as if imprinting them to memory. As she continued analyzing my body, I feared some of my old scars would jog her memory. That she’d recognize the mark below my ribcage where one of my foster brothers burned me with a cigarette. Or the freckle above my hipbone. Or the shape of my belly button.

Instead, she simply murmured, “Beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” I replied, my voice heavy with emotion. “You find my scars beautiful?”

“I do.” She hooked her arm around my neck, forcing my mouth toward hers. “It means you survived when the odds were against you. If you ask me, there’s nothing more beautiful than that.”

Clutching her face, I crushed my lips to hers, moaning into her as she ran her hands up and down my back, following the lines of even more scars. I stepped out of my shoes, only releasing my hold on her long enough to shove my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs before placing my hand on her back and carefully lowering her onto the mattress.

I settled between her thighs and pulsed against her, groaning at the feel of her heat against my erection. The temptation to push inside of her without a condom was so damn strong. I wanted to. Didn’t want anything separating us.

It was bad enough I was sleeping with her, though. I couldn’t take any more risks than I already was.

I broke my lips away from hers and grabbed the condom, rolling it on. I teased her with my arousal, spreading her slickness around before slowly easing inside her.

There were no hard thrusts. No punishing drives.

Instead, I took my time, my eyes glued to hers as I watched our bodies join together, inch by incredible inch.

“Fuck,” I hissed when I was fully seated.

Her body fit mine perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle finally reunited.

“Please, Gideon,” she begged. “I need you to move or I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.” She wrapped her legs around my waist to encourage me to pick up my pace, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

“Let me stay here. Let me feel how damn incredible you are. How warm you are.” I peppered kisses along her jawline, taking her earlobe between my teeth. “How beautiful you are.”

She sighed, running her fingers up and down my back, continuing to follow the lines of my scars.

As the building pressure threatened to overwhelm me, I shifted inside her, keeping my pace slow and measured. It was a complete change from the way I fucked her during her party. Regardless, she was just as responsive to the gentle rocking of my hips as she was when I was slamming my cock inside of her.

“It’s too much,” she whimpered, clinging onto me as if I were the only thing keeping her grounded. “Too damn much.”

“There’s no such thing when it comes to you. With you, it’ll never be enough.”

She pulled me closer, her uneven breaths fanning over my skin as she pulsed against me. I could tell she was getting close, that she was on the brink of oblivion.

“Do you need me to?—”

“No,” she answered before I could finish asking if she wanted me to wrap my hand around her throat. “Not this time. I want to stay in the moment.” Her eyes locked onto mine with a fierce intensity. “Want to stay with you.”

I picked up my pace, and she tightened the hold her legs had around my waist, the two of us moving in perfect harmony together.

The second I felt her clench around me, I slammed my mouth to hers, swallowing her cries as my entire body quaked through my own release. But even once all my tremors subsided, I didn’t stop kissing her. And she didn’t stop kissing me, the two of us exploring each other as if it were the first time.

And that was what this felt like. Like itwasthe first time. Like I was finally letting her see all of me.

When I finally brought the kiss to an end and peered into her eyes, I prayed I wouldn’t see the same thing I did the other night.

Fear.

Panic.

Shame.

“Are you okay?” I asked guardedly. “Areweokay?”

She pressed a hand to my cheek, touching her mouth to mine in a soft kiss. “Better than okay.” She hesitated, biting her lower lip. “Except…”

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