Page 100 of Dr. Weston

“You’ve got it, sir.”

Knock, knock.

“Who the fuck is that?” I grumble. This day has been shit. Okay, the last few weeks have been shit. I can’t take it anymore.

The patient our wound care team had so diligently fought to heal had to suffer an amputation when, despite their efforts, the infection continued to spread. Brantly Martin and his incessant whining about that medical director position. I’ve already told him no, for fuck’s sake. Now he seems to be intentionally creating meetings and distractions from my workday. My daughters never seem to have time to see me when I’m available. Can’t they see I’m trying here?

But deep down, the problem is me. I’m pissed that I have no control over the things that are most important to me. It’s annoying when things occur at work that could’ve gone better. It’s frustrating when I attempt to make time to spend with my family, and it’s not convenient. But my job and my kids aren’t going anywhere.

Poppy. Now that’s another matter entirely.

I don’t like that I had the chance to go all in, as Jarod put it. And when I was too late, she called me on it. It felt like I was being punished. There’s no fighting it. I want her. Not just physically. I want a healthy relationship with her. But the lack of control I’m feeling is maddening. If I can’t find a way to ease this chaos swirling around me, I’m afraid I’ll become unhinged.

The days of calling a willing female to let me quiet the storm are over if I ever want a monogamous relationship with a woman. And I’d never want to hurt Poppy. But maybe what I need is beyond the pale. Perhaps I’m wired in such a way that I was right to avoid relationships.

Swinging open the front door, I notice Poppy jump in response to my ire. What is she doing here?

On the one hand, she’s the perfect medicine. No one makes me feel like she does. But on the other, she’s too big a risk. If I hurt her, I may lose any chance at a future with her.Jesus. What the hell is wrong with me?I’m forty-two and feel like a defective monster.

“This isn’t a good time, Poppy.”

Her face falls. I have no idea why she’s here. Maybe she thought it would be easier to make a clean break in person. Yet she doesn’t appear solemn and serious as I’d expect she’d look if she was here to that end. She has on a pale yellow blouse paired with a short blue skirt. She’s wearing the wedge sandals I bought for her in Jamaica, the little silver anklet around her left leg arousing my dick as I picture it over my shoulder.Shit.

“I wanted to say I was sorry for the way I pushed you away. I needed some space. It wasn’t about you.”

Turning away from her, I’m growing increasingly uncomfortable. I’ve fallen so hard for this woman. But we can’t seem to get on the same page. Okay, so maybe I’ve met my match because she won’t accept whatever page I choose to give her.

Suddenly, I feel her soft hand on my wrist. Fuck. I want to pull her into me. Close this door to the rest of the world. But I’m too far gone. Too angry that I can manage a successful surgical practice and billions of dollars worth of investments but can’t figure out how to let someone in.

Poppy takes a step closer. “Can we talk? Just for a minute?”

“I’m heading out. It’s not a good idea that we talk when I’m like this.”

“Where are you going?” Her tone carries a bite to it.

My gaze snaps to hers, confirming her suspicions. “Meeting the guys for a drink.”

“Ah. So, it’s okay if you’re with them when you’re like this?” She uses her fingers to make air quotes around ‘like this.’ “I guess I misunderstood what was happening here.” She waves her finger back and forth between the two of us.

“Poppy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But that’s exactly what you’re doing. You hand me scraps and then withhold when you should be talking to me.” The weight of her statement causes me to wonder if this isn’t something more. She thrusts her finger into my chest, startling me. “Am I not worth it? Am I only useful for a good lay when you’re in the right mood?”

“Hell no, Pop. You’re all I want. I don’t want to physically hurt you. Because I’m more than a little off the chains right now.”

She comes closer, standing tall and proud. “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

“I do,” I practically plead. “But when things get too much, this is how I’ve had to deal with it.” Shit. I don’t even know what I’m planning to do once I get there. Maybe drink until I can’t see straight. “I’d never touch another woman. Hell, I don’t think I could get off with anyone but you. You’re all I want.”

“Then we better learn how to handle when things get too much.”

Fuck. I’m falling so hard for this woman, I worry I’ll never recover. “I don’t think you know what you’re asking for.”

Bzzz. Bzzz.

I pull the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“You need more time, boss?”

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