Page 130 of Until I Keep You

You don’t deserve any of this, Laney.

I start to go limp.

You broke Mason’s heart. You’ll break it again.

I can’t kiss back.

And you’ll break Nate too.

I start to curl away.

Better now than later.

I want to throw up.

Rip off the band aid.

“Stop…” I push Nate off. “Stop it…” I crawl away, tucking myself into a ball. “I was just kissing Mason.”

“That’s okay.”

“It’swrong.”

Nate starts to come close to me, but I make a noise like a feral animal. I don’t think I’ve ever made a noise like it before.

“You need to rest.”

I turn my face the other way. “You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“Please…” Leave me here. To fall into this pool of grief.

Nate huffs, “Goddammit, Laney, I can’t.”

I lift my wet eyes.

Nate’s anger is apparent on his face.

“You think I can just walk away from you when I…when I care for you? Fuck, no.”

Nate gets to his feet and stands over me.

“Please, don’t,” I whimper.

He doesn’t listen. He sweeps me up in his arms as if it’s the easiest thing in the world when I know it’s not.

“You shouldn’t–”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I should do.”

I shut up then, curling my arms around his neck, placing my face into his collarbone.

He smells so good. Wearing a cologne he’s only put on for family dinners or fancy occasions.

Nate carries me through the apartment. “You think I’ll just let you push me away like that? Think again.”

I cling to him until we make it to my bedroom.

---