Page 48 of All My Love

“Why is he hurting me like this?” I press, my bottom lip breaking into a rare tremble. “Helovesme,” I tell them, mynostrils flaring, heart racing as I spit out the truth Iknowin my bones.

“He’s in love with me and I’m his. I belong to him. I love Bear, I want Bear.” Tears come fast and my stomach swirls, unease and pain causing a riptide of nausea to pull me under. “Why is he doing this?” I sob, crumbling to my bed, wrapping my arms around my torso, clinging to myself. Trying to take my own pain away. Juni and Ivy sit with me, rubbing my back tenderly, pushing hair from my tear-streaked face.

They talk about the situation as I cry, but because I know without a shadow of a doubt that the universe brought Hudson and I together because we’re soulmates, my brain doesn’t let me wallow for long. I take in their conversation, and mentally get back on my feet.

When you really love someone andknowthey love you back—whether they’ve arrived there or not—you can’t let them push you away.

I know this.

I also know he doesn’t mean it.

He doesn’twantto hurt me.

He’s… protecting himself.

“Maybe he fucked some chick in Vegas and now feels guilty since he’s dated her a few times and…. He’s having her over to ease his own guilt,” Ivy offers. I sit up long enough to stab her with my trained, honed and pointed death glare.

“My Hudsondoesn’t have one-night stands.” There is no possibility of this. I know my man. He wants love, or nothing. That’s why I’m so fucked up over Tiffani being here to watch Bear.

I don’t want that bitch in my house. I don’t want her inthe house thatwewill bringournewborn baby home to. My memories are on the horizon in that house,not hers.She needs to get the fuck out.

Poor Hudson is just… confused.

Juniper massages my neck, my head cozy in Ivy’s lap. “Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe he’s feeling guilty over how he’s feeling about you and this is… to try to convince himself otherwise.”

My pulse picks up.

“He didn’t give a shit if we got that basket the other day,” Ivy ruminates.

“And when you called him about the farmers market, did he ask to talk to Ev or Bear?” Juni inquires.

I shake my head, sitting up. “No. I put Bear on the line but he… he sounded tired. Maybe hungover.” I twirl hair around my finger, taking a bite of my bottom lip. “He was happy to talk to me.”I’m sure of it.

Ivy gets to her feet, outstretching a hand for Juni to take. “He’s coming around, definitely. And Juniper’s right. If he is starting to see you as a woman and not Dolly the babysitter next door, he could be feeling guilty.”

I shake my head. “Why? Why feel guilty about wanting me?”I want all of you, baby, and I want you to have all of me. Every ounce.My body shudders at a hot flash of him.

Juni purses her lips, crossing her arms over her chest, her overall straps tugging. “Come on, Dolly. You’re sickeningly smart. This is a small town. Hudson is thirty-eight and you’re twenty. He probably feels like a perv liking a woman nearly half his age. He’s likely concerned about what the town would think.”

Fuck the town. “You think he likes me?” I sit on myknees in the center of my bed, steepling my hands together beneath my chin like a little girl settling in for bedtime prayer. Excitement has my heart soaring. My knuckles ache from the abuse I put them through, and I briefly imagine the ruined art in the barn.

I shake it out of my head. “Okay so… heisstarting to see that all he needs is next door. But he feels bad so… he asks Tiffani to watch Bear in an effort to convince himself to date someone his own age?”

Stringing it out like that, it makes sense. And Hudsonhasbeen more interested in me than normal. “Yeah,” Ivy says, peering out the window at the movement outside. “Hey, Deuce is here, I gotta go.”

“Good luck,” Juniper says, pulling Ivy into a hug. With her jet-black hair styled into two buns atop her head, a studded purple kitten ear pinned to each, her eyeliner winged and her lips black, she looks ready to be a talented, badass tattoo artist. I really hope Deuce hires her for the apprentice role, and equally, I hope the men he hires to work there show respect to a female apprentice.

Deuce is a good guy, though, so I can’t see him choosing anyone that isn’t stellar.

“Good luck,” I tell Ivy as I get to my feet and pull them into me.

She pushes us off, miming a gag. “Too much love. It’s stifling my creative urge to draw knives and blood,” she teases, scooping her bag from the floor before heading out.

Juni and I watch as she hops into Deuce’s pickup. The two of them share witty banter across the cab—I can tell by the movement of Ivy’s head, and by the raucous laughter that comes when Deuce tips his head back.

“She’s definitely gonna get the job,” I say, watching until he puts the truck into drive and leaves.

She turns to me. “I’m going into town for some more canning supplies. My order came in yesterday. Wanna ride with?”

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