Page 41 of All My Love

Turns out, we’re happier having our things and protecting each other than being boringly normal. But in therapy, we did learn that a hand hold and a hand squeeze from someone you love and trust can sometimes help to break up the budding cyclone of anger.

It works a little. But the longer I stare at Tiffani’s car, the more ineffective the hand hold technique becomes.

“What is she lying about?” Ivy questions, turning to face me in an effort to get me to break my laser gaze on the car.

“Everything,” I breathe, facing Ivy only when my eyes go fuzzy from staring so hard. “I looked her up,” I admit, motioning for them to follow me as I head down the hall to my room. Bypassing thetoothbrush drawerand thephoto drawer, I open myresearch drawerand pluck out the file titledHER.

I hand it to Ivy, who sifts through it with Juni over her shoulder.

“But she went to school with Ev,” Ivy says, confusion rippling her forehead, a strand of dark hair falling over her face as she brings the paper nearer.

“You’re understanding just fine,” I say, watching her try to make the words change on the paper. “They did go to college together. But Tiffani lied about graduating. And she lied about her high-powered job, too.”

Juni shrugs. “Maybe she’s just embarrassed and those lies are, like, just for her, you know? The things she tells herself to feel better.”

“She’s lying to Hudson and Bear about who she is,” I say, “and that’s not right.”

An awkward silence fills my bedroom, and I slide my foot over the drop of blood that didn’t get cleaned. I keep it there because it reminds me of being rescued by Hud that day.

“You guys know that I’m going to tell him,” I say to my sisters. “As soon as he realizes that he loves me back, I’m going to come clean.” I slice my hand between us. “It’s not the same thing. Tiffani is purposefully lying. I am protecting my love.There’s a difference.”

“Definitely,” Juniper agrees because no matter what, inside these walls, there is endless loyalty and understanding.

“So, what’re you gonna do? Because laundry listing her lies to Hud may not be received well. You’ll look jealous and crazy,” Ivy says simply.

I lift a photo of Hudson from my night table and lookinto his soulful eyes. “I’m going to go over there and get to know her. And Ev’s going to get to know her, too.”

“Ev already knows her,” Juni says, confused as we walk back into the kitchen. I leave the photo of Hud in my room.

“The real her,” I clarify. “The Tiffani who looked up college classmates to see who she could use.” I swipe my finger through a cooling pot of preserves. “I’ll be back.”

My sisters offer their luck, but I don’t need it.

The universe is still on my side and Hudson is my soulmate. Tiffani is just a blip in the timeline, a blipI’m going to get rid of.

“Oh,” I smile sweetly as I collect an excited Bear in my open arms. “Hi, Tiffani, I didn’t know you stopped by to visit.”

Because that’s all you are, Tiffani. You’re an unwanted visitor.

“Hi, Bear, you missing Daddy yet?” I hold Tiffani’s eyes as I speak to him, nestled against my neck as he embraces me warmly. “I miss him.”

Everly’s eyes cut to mine. I’ve never made any comments about Hud around her, not even subtly. But the message is just for Tiffani, and something she needs to hear. Still, since Everly is eyeing me cautiously, I veil the statement as myeyes go to her. “After all, if he doesn’t skip stones with you, I guess that means I have to…”

Ev’s caution melts into a sweet smile. “We already went out this morning. How are you, Dolly?”

I get to my feet as Bear skitters off, promising to return with his new teddy bear and matching storybook. I don’t recall him getting a teddy from Hudson or Everly recently.

I want to hold the question back and preserve every ounce of cool while Everly is here, but my veins heat and my mind starts spinning, my skin breaking out in a nagging, uncomfortable itch. Turning to Tiffani, I wear a sweet smile as I ask, “Did you buy Bear a gift?”

She returns the smile, though her eyes don’t lift.I see you, bitch. “I did. Just so he doesn't get sad on his first weekend away from his daddy.”

My hand flies to the kitchen island, palm slapping the cool tile as I grip it. I reach and grip so loudly that I startle Ev. “You okay?” she asks, pressing her palm to my forehead. I shrug her off.

“Fine.” I smile at Tiffani, whoapparentlyalso knows that this is the first time Hudson has ever left Bear. I already knew that because I have seen Bear every single day of his life since he was born.Ihave been here, celebrating all of his birthdays, watching him develop through milestones, watching Hudson grow in fatherhood. And this bitch with her red lips and herliesthinks we’re the same.

We are not the same.

“That’s great.” I take the teddy from Bear’s hands when he appears. “Oh wow, how special. It’s brown and fuzzy,” I say excitedly to Bear as my eyes take a pulse check on Tiffani. “Howspecial.” She wants to be called stepmom forgetting a shitty teddy bear from the drug store on the way here? Fuck that.

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