Page 26 of All My Love

Quietly, I close the back door, twisting the deadbolt before adding the security chain. My house is dark and quiet, and while I know Bear is asleep, I wonder where Dolly is. I drop my keys and hat on the counter, and fish my wallet and phone out, leaving them there, too.

Heading toward the hall, I stop halfway across the living room, a violent floral scent hitting me. I lift my collar to my nose and inhale.

Fuck. This shirt smells like Tiffani. She hugged me three times as we said goodbye, and I’m fairly certain she meant to rub her smell on me. I’m not some hydrant that needs to be marked, and anyway, the scent does nothing for me.Quickly, I unbutton the shirt, peel it off, and hit the laundry room in the hall, shoving it in the open, empty washer. In my boots, jeans, and white t-shirt, I slip into my son’s room, stopping in the doorway at what I find.

Bear is tucked neatly into his bed, his teddy clutched to his chest. The night-light casts a tangerine halo around him, and there is not a single time that I don’t look at my son and see the beautiful gift that he is.

I’m so lucky.

But my eyes tumble to the tiny blonde on the floor, her small frame nearly curled in half, a stuffed dinosaur under her head. Sweet Dolly. A lump jumps up my throat as I process my own thoughts.

Sweet Dolly?

I pull at the back of my neck, feeling guilty and ashamed for the semi I feel while looking at her. She’s so tiny but so sweet and fierce, creative and… beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like her.

I don’t need to be thinking about her, though, so I slip out of Bear’s room and find my phone on the kitchen counter. Quickly, I send Tiffani a text.

I’d like to take you out this week. Name the time and place.

I hit send and lock the phone, not waiting for a response. She’s gonna say yes, I know, and that’s all I need. A few dates, some casual sex. That’s it. Then maybe I can stop drooling over a girl who had braces and a learner’s permit when I first met her.

I stand in the doorway of Bear’s bedroom, staring at the two of them as a funny tingling spreads through my chest,into my limbs, making my fingers curl and my throat dry. I don’t know how long I stand there just looking… watching… I don’t know. Finally, though, I crouch down next to her, noticing the light freckles on her cheekbones, the Cupid’s bow of her perfectly plump upper lip, and all that honey hair pulled into a ponytail. I don’t know why I never considered or saw it before but, Dahlia Ellington is gorgeous. Breathtaking. I even stop and take her in another second before finally cupping her slender shoulder with my hand, giving her a gentle shake. Her body is warm, and feels so slight against my large hand. “Dolly,” I whisper, sending a rush of heat to my legs.

I’ve never whispered her name, but that’s how it would sound if I was waking her up with my fingers, or cock. She blinks a few times, coming to as she smiles up at me. Goddamn it, I know what I’ll be doing later.

“You’re back.”

Nodding, I extend a hand to her. “Let me walk you home.”

Dolly smiles, clambering quietly to her feet. She stretches, and my eyes ignore the inch of bare skin that appears between her pants and hoodie as she does.

“It’s just next door. I’ll be okay.”

I clear my throat, guiding us both from Bear’s room, out into the hall. Pulling his door closed as we exit the space, I tell her the truth. “I wouldn’t be.”

We share a smile, and though I’ve been hip to hip with Dolly hundreds of times over the years, I’m suddenly acutely aware that it's dark and quiet, and there are only two feet of space between us.

Standing in the dark hallway, I make the move to usherher through the house, to the front. I need to get her home. I need to shake these thoughts and urges and get laid with a woman my own damn age.

When we get to the foyer, I pull open the door, letting my hand barely graze the small of her back as I usher her out. We start the small walk to her house next door, less than thirty feet away.

“Thanks again for watching him tonight,” I say, my voice a little raw. My cheeks flush and I’m grateful for the darkness, so she can’t see that I’m embarrassed that my tone matches my thoughts.

She bumps her arm into mine. “Oh stop. You don’t have to thank me. You know I love Bear.”

Though I know it’s true, for whatever reason, hearing her say that as plain as day does something to me. Something that will require my hand in about ten minutes.

Fuck. I'm glad I already texted Tiffani. I need to get laid. All this time of pretending I couldgo withoutis catching up with me, and I don’t want to creep out a genuinely sweet girl who loves my boy.

“Still,” I hedge, my steps drifting away from her a little, because it feels like I may need physical distance. “I appreciate it.”You, I think.I appreciate you.

“So, how was your date?” she asks quietly. This time her eyes stay on her toes as we take the last steps up to her porch. The light, a motion detector, flicks on as she steps up to the door. I stay on the ground, forgoing the steps. This isn’t a date, so down here is just fine.

I rake a hand up the back of my head, my eyes falling to my cognac boots. There’s nothing wrong with Tiffani. She’s just…not my type. Still, I understand that getting back intothe swing of things is important, and I’m gonna date a lot of fillers until I find the one worthy of being with us.

Finally, I look up, and our eyes idle together in the moonlight. “Okay, I guess.”

“Are you going to see her again?” she asks on the heels of my response. I can’t tell if she’s just trying to be nice or genuinely curious.

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