Page 83 of The Thief

I had to decide which version of myself was more important. Was it worth losing everything? A protective pack, a beautiful home, an evenhanded Packmaster, girlfriends I genuinely liked, and especially Bear?

Restoring my memories might even drive me away from here. What if I fell into a state of depression again, knowing every horrible detail of how I’d wronged people? I also couldn’t entirely trust my old self even if she did feel remorse and guilt in the end. It was like having a split personality, only one of them was asleep.

Bear had fixed a delicious breakfast of buttermilk biscuits, sausages, cantaloupe, and scrambled eggs. Montana, Virgil, and Archer discussed plans for the garage and attached gym. Robyn quashed the topic when she told them to focus on the fence before jumping around to other projects. I had a feeling she wasn’t done with her sketches and was feeling the pressure.

After finishing her eggs, Joy knitted at the table while listening to birds chirping outside and the dwindling conversation. Krys took off early to guard the property with Catcher, who hadn’t come in last night.

In the quiet space of the morning, the house felt emptier without the laughter and voices of the rest of our pack. I missed them and looked forward to their return even though I was equally dreading it.

“You haven’t said a word this morning,” Bear commented when I set my plate in the kitchen sink. “Everything’s gonna be all right.” He stole a quick kiss on my head as I washed my plate.

Even with the turmoil in my heart, it still fluttered at his tender words and soft touch. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, but we weren’t an item. And we certainly couldn’t carry on without Tak’s consent. I had enough strikes against me.

When the gate chime sounded, my stomach dropped.

“That’s Tak,” Bear said, drying the last plate and putting it away. Then he turned toward me, hand resting on the counter.

He looked handsome in a grey long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Maybe it was the light-grey color that suited him, but it was also his clean smell. Bear always put on a splash of cologne in the morning that wore off pretty quickly throughout the day. Though he’d recently trimmed his beard, his hair was disheveled and getting a little long on top. But I liked it. Bear could do no wrong in the looks department.

And here I was, barefaced in a pair of jean capris and a sleeveless black top. My nails were chipped, and after a quick assessment, I realized I’d forgotten to shave my legs. How could he still look at me with such adoration, especially knowing all the bad stuff? How could a man be so forgiving when I couldn’t even forgive myself?

“Come help me with something,” he said, taking my hand and leading me to the pantry door by the kitchen window. Once inside, he wrapped his arms around me.

I leaned against his broad chest, my arms around his middle. “I’m scared.”

“Of the Mage?”

“No. Of Tak.”

He cupped my nape and stroked it with his thumb while I stared at a shelf of canned peas and green beans, trying to muster the courage to go out there and update Tak on everything. All I kept imagining was him saying how this was enough and I needed to leave the pack and sort out my issues.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Bear repeated. “You have to trust the fates.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Maybe I haven’t paid for what I’ve done. Why should I get a free pass?”

“Who says you got a free pass? Your memories are gone, and you’ve had to rebuild your life from scratch.” Bear held me at arm’s length. “Look, I said the same thing for years. I deserved the beating, but it never felt like it was enough. I should have controlled my temper before it escalated, and that’s what I’ve spent years learning how to do. My heart’s been locked in a cage ever since that day, but you’re the first one who’s ever made me want to forgive myself. Sometimes you gotta lose something to gain something. I lost my place in that pack, but that led me here. To you.”

Bear suddenly picked me up so we were nose to nose. “You’re not alone. You got that?”

I nodded and kissed him softly on the mouth before he set me down. The friction between our bodies was electric, and for a fleeting moment, I forgot my troubles and wanted to shut that pantry door. But the thought quickly died when voices called out from the front of the house.

I gathered my courage and went outside to greet everyone.

Tak’s large white truck rolled up first. Hope waved at us from the open window just as her mate revved the engine. The truck lurched backward, then parked on the paved area to my right.

“Why must you always clown around?” I heard her say from inside the truck.

Lakota honked his horn at our small group as Krys’s brown wolf trotted alongside them. Krys’s wolf was easy to identify since he had black markings on his side that looked like claw marks.

Robyn jogged ahead of me, wearing shorts and one of Montana’s blue T-shirts. She reached into the truck bed and pulled out two luggage bags. Catcher took the small one and trotted away, his head and tail high.

When Melody opened her door, she stood on the side step and leaned on the top of the door. “Did you miss us?”

I smiled at her, realizing she was intentionally drawing everyone’s attention for a reason. “You colored your hair!”

She fluffed her pink shoulder-length hair. “I was tired of the blue. We took the moms to get their hair done, and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision.” Melody gripped the top of the door and let it swing open before her feet hit the ground.

“I told you not to do that,” Lakota complained as he rounded the front. “You’ll break my door.”

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