Page 78 of The Thief

Hearing from my own mouth what an awful person I was ripped a hole in me. All this time, I had been focusing on that spark inside me that wanted to motivate others and be a positive influence. Was this the real me, or was it the person in the letter?

The heart-wrenching truth was I didn’t know. The letters I’d written to my mother must have mentioned my successes, because her responses were filled with congratulations and talk of hardships. Had I ever sent them a dime, or was my intention to brag about my money to get back at them?

My life is a lie. A total and complete lie.

A vibration thrummed against my legs, and when I looked over my shoulder, I realized the weight that had gradually covered my calves was Lucian. Chitahs used their bodies to comfort loved ones in distress.

I pulled my legs away.

He stopped me and flicked his golden eyes up to mine. Sprawled over the bed, Lucian looked like a cat ready to pounce, his gaze so intense that I turned my head away. Lucian was the most aloof person in the house, so receiving any kindness from him felt undeserved.

“Is somebody lighting a fire?” Virgil asked from the doorway.

Lucian growled deep in his chest.

“I’ll get Bear,” I heard Virgil say.

When Lucian spoke, his voice had softened. “What troubles you, female?”

I sniffed and buried my face in the pillow. “Leave me alone.”

“No.”

The purring intensified and had a strange calming effect on me.

“Stop doing your Chitah magic on me. I don’t deserve it.” More guttural sobs found their way out as I struggled in vain to get it together. All the emotions I’d kept down suddenly surfaced like Old Faithful with its shot of steaming water blowing out of the earth. Only, instead of water, tears.

The sound of my door hitting the doorstop made me jump.

“Y’all get out,” Bear said. “I got this.”

Lucian snarled at him, and I curled up in a ball, still feeling the grip of his hands on my ankles.

“Don’t make me say it again, Chitah.” Bear’s tone was insistent but not harsh. After all, Lucian was only doing what came naturally.

I listened to him leave the room and the door close.

The bed sank beside me, and Bear stroked my back soothingly. He remained silent while I cried my heart out. The instant I tasted my own tears, it became impossible to shut the floodgates.

At some point, Bear had turned off the overhead light and spooned me. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I need a tissue.”

Bear hopped off that bed so fast that by the time I sat up, he was out the door. I propped the pillows behind me and wiped my wet cheeks. When he returned with a box of tissues, I blew my nose.

“I must be a sight,” I said, wiping my nose and wadding up the tissue.

“I’m just trying to figure out what happened in the short time that I left.”

I coughed and tossed the tissue to the side. “This is your chance to walk away, Bear. And I won’t judge you for it. I’m not saying that to push you away. I want to be honest with you, but I also want to be fair.”

He sat next to me and put his hand on my knee. “There’s nothing wrong with crying. Sometimes you gotta get it all out.”

“It’s what I’m crying about that’ll scare you off. Everything Argento said was true. I wrote a letter to myself before the memory wipe.” After drying my wet lashes, I steeled myself.

He squeezed my knee. “I’m still here.”

“This wasn’t done to me—my memory wipe. I thought Argento did it or maybe a partner in crime. It was me. I hired a Vampire to erase my life.”

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