Page 62 of Fighting for His Life

Judging by the arch of her brow, she can tell too. “Not at all. I just want a glimpse into that dynamic. Let’s start simple. How did you meet?”

On a sigh, I relent. “We met in the school cafeteria. He was the new kid sitting all alone. It made me sad, but I was a little bit nervous to just go up to him. So, I got Zane to go with me. He has always been so outgoing. It didn’t take much convincing. We walked up to him, introduced ourselves, and we’ve all been together ever since.”

“So, he became your friend?”

I shake my head. “He became our friend. The three of us were best friends. Practically inseparable.”

“When did you realize that you loved him?”

I smile at the question. I thought I realized it when I was fifteen, but, over the years, the exact moment I knew has changed because there were so many moments that made me fall in love with him. Truthfully, I think I loved him the moment I saw him sitting all alone in that cafeteria eating his grilled cheese.

“Zoey?” she says giving me a knowing smile. “Where’d you go just now?”

“I was just trying to figure out the answer to your question. I know it’s going to sound crazy. I thought I first fell in love with Jax when I was fifteen. It was the day I came home from the hospital after someone slipped me drugs at a party. He was so worried and concerned, it’s bordered on obsessive, but I thought his hovering was sweet. He wouldn’t let me get anything for myself. He sat with me in my room for hours watching whatever girly shit I wanted without complaining.”

“But that’s not when you fell in love with him?”

“No. Like I said, I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve loved Jax from the moment I laid eyes on him. I was only eight and didn’t have the first idea what love was. I just knew he had to be part of my life. Maybe that’s how love like ours works. It matures as we mature.”

“That’s very wise. When did you two become a couple? What did that feel like?”

I laugh remembering how stupid we both were. How young and dumb. “Ten years later is when we finally admitted how we felt. The night of our high school graduation. We were so stupid because neither of us thought the other felt the same. Jax was worried about Zane’s reaction and some stupid bro code. I was worried about crossing that line from best friends to something more. Maddox showed up that night to apologize for what had happened at the party years before. Jax saw him and lost his shit. He was still so angry at Maddox for slipping me the drugs then leaving me there. A lot of things I never knew about that night came out. At some point, I ended up on a dock near the house we were at and Jax found me. That’s when he told me he loved me. I remember feeling like everything I ever wanted came true in those few words. I didn’t think it could get any better than that. I didn’t think anything in this world could make me happier than I was in that moment.”

“How did Zane react to the two of you? I can tell your brother is very important to you. Did it put a strain on your relationship with him?”

“Nope. Zane was the one who told Jax he wasn’t very good at hiding his feeling and that he’d be a dumbass if he didn’t tell me.”

“What about your parents? Tell me something about them.”

I swallow hard at the memories of my parents. Especially when I know I won’t be able to make more. “My parents were amazing. They were raising two kids who couldn’t possibly be any closer than Zane and I were, but we were also so different. Zane was the wild, rebellious ladies’ man. Even when he was three, he was charming all the girls. I was the daydreamer with my head in the clouds. They both worked hard, but they always made time for us. They helped with homework, taught us to ride a bike, they kissed every boo-boo. They never missed one of Zane’s games, and in high school he played everything. They were at every piano and dance recital I had. Whenever the schedules clashed, they’d split up. They even made room for Jax. By the time he was twelve, he went on every vacation we took.”

“Zoey, how did it feel when you found out they died? I know that wound is still the freshest. Tell me how you felt.”

I feel my walls trying to slam into place. I don’t want to think about them dying. I don’t want to deal with the additional onslaught of pain their deaths have brought me. But I know I have to. I have to for Zane and Jax. “I felt like it was my fault just like everything else,” I admit.

“But you know it was a car accident. How could you fault yourself for that?”

“Because they were trying to get to the airport to get to me,” I say feeling the start of tears.

“They were trying to get to you because you needed them. Not because you did anything wrong.”

“I know that logically.”

“Zoey, why do you blame yourself for what happen to you?”

Sharp, burning pain stabs the center of my chest. It consumes my soul. My heart burns with agony. I can’t find the words to answer her question.

“Okay, let’s move on from that right now. How did you end up turning to drugs?”

This question isn’t much better. All roads lead to hell where any of this is concerned. My own personal hell that I can’t escape, but I don’t want to deal with. I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out.

“I’m not going to push you, Zoey. This is only our first session. We have plenty of time. Let’s talk about something else for a minute. Tell me why you were in New York.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. This was something I could talk about. “Right out of high school, I was accepted into the Waterford showcase for new and upcoming artists. I applied the summer before my senior year. I never in a million years expected to be accept, but I was. I was also pretty well received because they invited me back every year. I was even supposed to do a showcase this year.”

“That’s amazing. You must be a very talented woman.”

I shrug. “I don’t know if I’m talented or not, but people seem to like my work.”

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