Page 38 of Fighting for His Life

I smile at him hoping it reaches my eyes. It never does. “They aren’t worth a penny.”

“They’re worth more than you know, Zoey,” he counters with a soft smile that morphs into a frown. “Stop,” he commands.

I blink at him in confusion. “Stop?”

“The tattoo,” he nods. I stop rubbing, placing my hands under my thighs. His eyes darken as he sets his drink down. “You’re thinking about Jax.”

I don’t deny it. What would be the point? When what happen to me isn’t haunting my dreams and thoughts, my mind is on Jax. Sometimes the two mesh together. But I’m also not having this argument again.

It’s not Maddox’s fault. I know I’ve asked a lot out of him, and I haven’t been very fair to him. He’s been a better friend than I deserve. “I’m sorry,” I finally say.

“Zoey, call him. Call your brother,” he says like he has so many times before.

I grit my teeth. Frustration crawls over me. “No.”

He shakes his head knowing that’s all he’s going to get out of me. He stands, kissing my head, and goes back to his room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispers. “Get some sleep.”

“When are you coming by to get more work done?” Tori asks me from across the bar.

I give her my best fake smile, the one I’ve perfected over the last year. “Soon,” I say.

She gives me her brilliant dimpled smile that makes her big brown eyes light up. “One of these days I’m going to get you to go out with me and the guys.”

I genuinely laugh at that. She tries relentlessly, but I never go. I like Tori. She is actually a pretty good friend but the thought of going out with a bunch of people makes me nauseous.

I don’t want them to know how I spend most of my nights chasing away the shame and pain. I especially don’t want them getting to close. I don’t want them to figure out who I really am.

“I’m just not a social person,” I say flipping my bleached hair out of my eyes.

“Girl, I’ve seen you work these customers too many times to believe that shit.”

I don’t say anything as I turn to the next customer. I don’t want this conversation.

I continue to avoid Tori. She’s been working hard to get closer to me. At another time and in another life, we would’ve been friends. She’d have fit right in with my boys.

“Zoey,” Maddox whispers in my ear. “Why don’t you go home.”

It’s not a question, but I can’t do what he says. “I’m staying, Maddox.”

He turns me to look at him. My shoulders tighten at the physical contact. He looks me over with worry lining his face, and I hate it.

He knows what tonight is. He’s watched me become more erratic over the last few weeks. He knows my barely sleeping has progressed back to never sleeping. He knows I’m getting in later and later every night. It’s why I should never have agreed to stay with him.

He found me a few weeks after the incident wandering around a shopping center in a daze. I hadn’t eaten or really slept. Everything made me jump. I’m still not sure how I ended up in that shopping center.

When he crossed my path, my first instinct was to run away. It appears, though, starvation and sleep deprivation really slow a person down because he had no problem catching me.

He tried to get me to eat, but it didn’t do much good. When he realized I’d spent much of my time walking around aimlessly through the city, he dragged me back to his apartment for the night.

Of course, he begged me to call my brother and Jax to let them know I was okay, but I refused. I was not going to be a burden on them because I was a mess. The instant that man – well something inside me immediately broke, and I knew I’d never be the same. I knew that Jax and my brother would want to fix it, but this wasn’t something they could make go away. I wasn’t putting them through that.

I also didn’t want their worried looks of pity. It’s the reason I tried to sneak away from Maddox that first night. He wasn’t stupid though. He sat up all night waiting for me to try to leave.

It took some convincing, but Maddox managed to get me to stay. Olivia went back home after her internship finished, so he had the space. He even set me up with this job bartending at Lucky's.

The job’s proven to be useful. It has provided distraction in more ways than one. Which is why I’m not leaving early.

“Zoey, I don’t think you should be working tonight.”

---