Page 12 of Fighting for His Life

“You may not have fooled them, but I was totally oblivious,” she says softly. “I wish I’d known, Jay. I’ve spent so much time wanting you to see me as something other than your best friend or your best friend’s sister.”

“I’m sorry I took so long,” I say resting my forehead against her.

“Did you know how I felt about you?”

I think on that for a second. Did I know? “I don’t think I knew. But I don’t think I didn’t know either.”

She looks at me curiously. “You know that makes no sense. Right?”

I let out a small, embarrassed laugh and shake my head. “I think maybe I knew how you felt, but I was too stuck in my own head to really notice. Too stuck in these rules I thought I had to follow.”

“Rules? What rules?”

“You know the rules. You don’t go after your brother or best friends’ exes, you don’t fall for your best friends’ sisters, and you definitely don’t fall for your best friends.”

She giggles at me while her hand travels to the collar of my shirt. “Those are rules? Who made those rules?”

I look at her seriously. How can she not know the rules? The rules are universal. I tell her as much.

“You’re really serious about this,” she says somewhat shocked. “What changed your mind?”

“Well, everyone pointing out that my feelings weren’t very well hidden for one. Especially when I’d get jealous.”

“You were jealous?” she asks underneath her lashes while playing with the collar of my shirt and the skin underneath.

“Do you remember Ryan Davenport’s broken nose?” She nods. Then her eyes widen. “We told everyone he ran into the lockers because no one was willing to snitch me out and chance losing the game that week. He was talking about how hot you were, and I kind of lost it.”

“Jax,” she swats my chest, “you shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know,” I say rubbing up and down her arm. “I just couldn’t handle it. Didn’t you ever get jealous?”

She nods. “Everyday, because there was always some girl hanging on you or you were sneaking off with.” I wince because I know there have been a lot of girls. “How did you handle me with other guys if you were so jealous?”

My finger trail down her side and slip under her shirt where I rub circles on her side. “If I knew you had a date, I avoided being around at all costs. If I saw you show up somewhere with another guy, I’d leave. If I saw you leave with another guy, I’d put a fist into the nearest wall. I was a coward.”

“Why were you worried about me being Zane’s sister or your best friend? Wouldn’t that make things better, not worse?”

“The way I saw it, was that I took a risk at losing one or both of my best friends. But I also realized that one day some guy was going to come along, and I’d miss my chance with you. I didn’t want to look back regretting never telling you how I feel. It scares the shit out of me because I have so much to lose, but my heart can’t take the thought of you with someone else.”

“You won’t lose us, Jax. Zane loves you more than he loves me, and I can’t see you not being a part of my life in some capacity. I don’t think I could handle it if you weren’t.”

“Zoey, I – uh well I haven’t exactly been a saint. I knew how I felt about you, but I didn’t think I could ever have you,”

She laughs a me. Really laughs. “Jax, I’m not blind and I’m not stupid. You’re hot as hell and you’re a guy.”

I suddenly feel a little insulted by her remarks. “Do you think I would have been with all those girls if I thought I had a chance with you?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, Jay.”

I sit up, pulling her with me. “Zoey, I didn’t think I could ever tell you how I felt. I wasn’t sure if you even felt the same. The other girls were just sex. I never let one of them believe it was anything but what it was.”

I know it makes me a dick, but it’s the truth. I was always upfront with every girl I was with. No feelings, no attachments. I didn’t buy them dinner, take them to the movies, or hold their hands. Hell, I wouldn’t even kiss them. It was never intimate by any stretch of the imagination.

Did that stop the girls from imagining there was something more? Nope. Most of them still followed me around. They hung all over me at the ballgames or parties. They all thought they had a chance.

But they never did. Not when my heart belonged to someone else. I can’t help but wonder, if all the guys knew how I felt, how is it the girls didn’t see too?

Zoey’s hand finds my face again bringing me from my thoughts. “Where’d you go?”

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