Page 59 of Her Devils

“Yeah, I thought something like that would feel good, and I’d feel vindicated, but I don’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Kiara is getting what she deserves, but how does that make things better for me? After the first moment of triumph, I realized that seeing the way Darrius treats her doesn’t make me happy. Believe me,” she says with a self-deprecating laugh, “I see the irony in it. If I told Sarah, she’d give me a bitch slap and tell me that I’m too nice for my own good. I guess it’s just a screwed up situation to begin with.”

There’s a beat of silence, her expression turning serious with whatever just crossed her mind.

“What’s up?” I ask, stopping the lazy up and down motion of my hand along her spine, just short of her perfect ass. “Where did you go just now?”

Her eyes are downcast and fixed on my chest, and I immediately miss looking into them. “I think I might owe you and the guys an apology,” she finally says, her voice pained.

I coax her gaze back to mine with a gentle finger under her chin. “Why? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I’m not so sure.” She sighs. “When you came in earlier, I don’t know if you saw what happened. Darrius tried to kiss me. I mean, he sort of did kiss me. I pushed him away, but for a second, I kissed him back. But it was just a second, I swear. There was no tongue, and as soon as he tried to deepen it, I—”

“I saw,” I say, my tone way harder than I intended.

“I’m sorry, Peyton,” she murmurs, her eyes fixed on my chest again. “If you’re mad at me and you want to end our deal, I understand.”

I shift and sit up against the headboard of her king-sized bed, my cock throbbing in protest for the lost contact with Lenley’s soft skin. “Do you want to end our deal?” I ask, not even attempting to analyze the mess of emotions that’s warring in my chest at the thought.

“No,” she blurts almost too fast. “I don’t. But I understand if you’re mad at me and want to call it quits.”

I take her hand into mine, lacing my fingers through hers. There’s no end to my surprise at the fact that I can’t stop touching her, even if it isn’t in a sexual way. “If you don’t want to call it quits, then I don’t either. Why do you think I’d want to end it?”

She still isn’t looking at me. “We agreed on being exclusive as long as our deal lasts, and even if it was just for a second, I did kiss him back.”

I close my eyes, fury surging through me at the memory of Penn’s dirty paws all over Snow. “Did you want him to kiss you?” I’m surprised by how important her answer is to me. Even if she says she wanted it, why would it matter? I’ve known she was in love with Penn from the very beginning. That’s exactly why I thought of that deal. The guys and I don’t really want to change the way we live, and we still aren’t looking for a relationship. She’s in love with someone else, and that’s what made our deal perfect.

Then why does her answer matter so much?

I tell myself that it’s because our deal makes it easy to stay on the straight and narrow and out of the spotlight like Dad wants. Besides, I’m not done with Penn, and by the looks of it, that dumbass is playing the exact hand I thought he would. He’s had Lenley pining for him his entire life, and he ignored her, always chasing after other girls, but now that he thinks he can’t have her? He’s finally noticed her, especially when she’s turning out to be very different than the inexperienced little virgin he thought she was.

Lenley’s gaze finally meets mine. “That’s the thing, Peyton. I don’t know. I thought I did. I’d been waiting for that kiss ever since I stopped thinking that boys have cooties.”

She’s so fucking adorable that even if her admission causes a wave of red-hot fury that makes it hard to breathe, I can’t help but laugh. “Ha, you shouldn’t have stopped thinking that. I’m sure Penn has cooties. Actually, he’s a fucking cootie himself.”

She doesn’t laugh. Tough audience today, I guess.

“I’ve been waiting for him to kiss me for so long,” she repeats, almost as if she’s trying to convince herself. “And then when he did, I didn’t really want him to. It just took a second for my mind to catch up between what I thought I knew I wanted and what I really did want. Plus, it wasn’t even a real kiss. It lasted just a few seconds, and as soon as I felt his tongue trying to slip into my mouth, I pushed him away.”

There’s a beat of silence between us as we both let her words sink in.

I don’t even know how I feel—relieved, furious, and confused.

She takes my silence as a sign of anger. “You’re mad.” It isn’t a question. “I’m sorry, Peyton. I swear I wasn’t thinking. He caught me by surprise. I—”

I let go of her hand and run my fingers through my hair. “I’m not mad.” Shit. I’m not doing a good job of it. I sound furious to my own ears. “I’m not mad at you, Lenley,” I add.

I relax marginally when she looks me in the eye. “No?”

“No. Even if you wanted to kiss him, I’d have no right to be mad anyway. I’ve known that you have feelings for Penn since the night we met, and kissing him doesn’t break our deal. Actually, it’s good that you kissed him for a second. That’s what we want, right? We want to mess with him and dangle what he can’t have in front of his eyes.”

I try to infuse my tone with certainty. Truth be told, I don’t even know who I’m trying to convince, Lenley or myself.

“Right.” She looks even less convinced than I am.

“Our plan is working. You’re learning all the ropes of sex, and it shows. You’re more confident. It’s in the way you walk and the way you act. Penn has already noticed the difference, and by the end of the season, he’ll be begging you to give him a chance.”

Her expression is hard to read. “Then why are you mad?”

I don’t even know. Or maybe I do. I might not want a relationship, but Lenley and I are becoming good friends, and the sex is mind-blowing. I’ve never had such chemistry with a woman before. That’s just confusing me, and I never said I wasn’t a possessive motherfucker, so I can’t stand the idea of Penn touching what’s mine, even if it’s just temporary.

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