Page 68 of Single Mom for the Bikers

But… “Wait, what about Grinder. Isn't he going to?—”

The crack of a gunshot sounds from inside the church. Oh God.

“Just keep walking,” says Phoenix. “He's not gonna bother you again. Ever.”

Sledge and Havoc exit the church behind us, I can’t tell who was the one who shot Grinder, and no matter how hard I try to feel bad for the ending of a life, it doesn’t come. I don’t know if that says something about me, or about Grinder.

No, definitely Grinder.

39

SHELBY

“Is Mia asleep?”Phoenix asks softly when I slip into his room later. He’s on his bed, reading a book, but he puts it down when I crawl onto the bed next to him.

“Yeah, it took some time, but I left her curled up next to Havoc and Sledge. They promised to let me know right away if she wakes up.”

He nods. “Did you talk things out with Havoc?”

I nod. Havoc was easier. I was angry with him in the moment because I was shocked, but I understand why he made the choices he did. So we’ve agreed to move past it. As for Phoenix, there’s a lot between us, but after everything that’s happened, there’s a lot binding us together, too. Including our pasts.

So maybe we can make it work after all.

“Ruin, huh?” I ask, sitting next to him

He grunts. “Not my name. Hasn’t been in a long time.”

“Phoenix is a little on the nose, though, don’t you think? Rebirth and all that?”

The deep bass rumble of his laugh rolls through me. “Guess so. Not quite as emo as Ruin. Sometimes I just tell people I’m from Arizona.”

That has me snort a little laugh.

“You didn’t mention that you saved my mother’s life. She remembers you, you know?”

“Because I didn’t. Her life was only in danger because we were there in the first place. Don’t make me out to be more of a hero than I am, Shel.”

“I think you got that backwards. There’s more to you than just being a hero.”

He rolls his eyes. “Fuck off.”

He doesn’t see it, but I do. Sure, there are dark places in Phoenix’s past, and some of them cast shadows on my own, but that’s not all of who he is. Or of who we could be together. I’m sure this won’t be the last time we talk about the past, but right now I’m more interested in the future.

“I’m guilty, too, then.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Me. If I hadn’t gone home, Dodger would never have brought you and the others to the house. You think I didn’t run through those thoughts a million times per day after Dan died? For a long time. If I hadn’t decided that I hated my new step-father, and that I was old enough to take care of myself, I wouldn’t even have met Dodger in the first place.”

“That’s different. You’re family. Your mother fucking loves you. You belonged there. That’s not your fucking fault.”

“Do you love me? Or could you love me?” I whisper, staring down at my hands so I don’t have to look in his eyes and see an answer I don’t want.

“Jesus, if anyone should be asking that, it should be me. I’m the fuckup here.”

“You’re not. You had a raw deal and we don’t always do the right thing.”

“Not doing the right thing doesn’t usually mean someone fucking dies.”

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