Page 29 of Controlling Chloe

Bash: Chloe, my sassy Little girl who desperately needs a red bottom, will you please have dinner with me tonight at 7?

Chloe: Sure! I thought you’d never ask. I’d love that.

Little brat.

Bash: I’ll pick you up at 6:30.

Chloe: What should I wear?

Bash: Wear anything you’d like. You’re beautiful in everything. But if you really want my opinion? The yellow cotton summer dress with the bow on the back that you wore to your brother’s birthday dinner last year is my favorite.

Chloe: …

Chloe: You remember that?

Bash: I remember everything about you. Can’t wait to see you tonight. Be good.

11

CHLOE

“Hey, Dad.” I perch the phone between my ear and shoulder while continuing to file my nails. I need to paint them badly. Maybe a soft pink. Or yellow. Yellow is always a good choice.

“Chloe. Your brother and one of his thug friends dropped by yesterday.”

My stomach clenches, and the urge to vomit seeps up through my chest. I was afraid of that. Neither Kieran nor Bash told me anything about it. I’m sure it’s because they’re trying to protect me from the big, bad world.

“Yeah. Well, Bradley is a bad guy,” I say quietly.

“He’s not a bad guy. He made a bad choice. There’s a difference, Chloe. Like going to see your brother. That was a bad choice.”

“One of his friends saw what happened, and that’s how he got involved. Either way, he’s trying to protect me, Dad.”

“I didn’t raise you to need to be protected, Chloe. I raised you to stand on your own two feet. You’re never going to make it as an attorney if you crawl to your brother whenever something bad happens.”

Every muscle in my body tenses. My temples throb with the start of a migraine. His words always cut deep. Which is why I used to cut deeper. To neutralize the pain. Not anymore. The urge is still there, though.

No matter what I do, it’s always the wrong thing in my father’s eyes. Maybe if I had been the son he wanted, it would be different.

“I didn’t crawl to him. I didn’t tell him to go see you.”

“My business deal is ruined now. I needed that contract. It’s all fucked-up now. It’s putting me in a bind, Chloe.”

I close my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask him to drug my drink. If Bash hadn’t seen it and intervened, I might be dead right now.”

He snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. Jesus, you’re always such a drama queen. He wouldn’t have killed you. He wanted to have some fun with you.”

Seriously? Is he for real right now? I drop the nail file and pull the phone away from my ear to look at the screen, just to confirm it’s my actual father who called me and not some prankster. Bile rises in my throat as I stare at his name on the screen. My heart cracks down the center. Has he always been this way, and I chose not to acknowledge it? Ignorance is bliss and all that?

“I’m not paying your tuition anymore. If you can’t help your own father out, I’m not going to help you. Don’t bother contacting me anymore. Since you seem to want to run to your brother so much, he can be your family. You’re no longer my daughter or my concern.”

The phone beeps and the line goes dead. I stare at the device for several minutes, processing what just happened. My entire body is numb, and I can’t think clearly. How have I never seen this side of him? The realization that I probably have and decided to be blind to it hits me like a ton of bricks. Am I that naïve? That stupid?

His painful words are the only thing I can hear playing through my mind, and I want them to go away. I need them to go away before I lose it. Before I crumble like I’ve done so many times in the past when he’s hurt me. I’m not the same girl I was ten years ago, though. I’m stronger now.

I don’t feel strong, though. I feel weak and broken. Confused. Even though it’s been years, I still have a collection of blades in my bathroom. Would it give me the same relief it did before? Would I feel better afterward? Or worse? I’m pretty sure I’ll feel worse. Although I don’t know how I could possibly feel worse than I already do. My own father, my flesh and blood, disowned me.

Instead of going into my bathroom, I crawl under the covers and pull Quackers to my chest. Maybe a nap will help. As I rub Quackers soft yellow fur, the tightness in my belly slowly starts to unclench and the only thing I can think about before I drift off to sleep is how much I wish Bash were here.

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