Page 2 of Royal

I avoided contact with her as she didn’t deserve to be in my son’s life. Her shit will not touch him.

I look at the letter my brother sent me from overseas, and it brings a small smile to my face. I finish getting ready and then gather the bag I had prepared for Donovan the night before.

The best part of his day care is that it's directly next door to my work, so I can peek in on him anytime.

Love is something I knew about but never truly wholeheartedly felt until I first saw his face when they put him on my chest seconds after I gave birth. It’s like the world stopped spinning because all I could see was my baby.

Years later, we are here and doing well. This is all I wanted. Dating has been the last thing on my mind.

But at nighttime, when I’m in bed alone, all I can think about is I want someone to share their life with me, to hold me and make me feel safe.

Hell, to take care of me for once. I have always taken care of someone my whole life.

Wishful thinking, though, right?

In the kitchen, Donovan has already devoured his food. I giggle at the piece of egg clinging to his cheek.

I pull him out of his chair and into the living room to get him dressed for the day. Jeans, a dark t-shirt, and a thin jacket completes his outfit. It's chilly out but not enough for a heavy coat.

I brush and gel his little hair to the side. He is the cutest baby, I swear I just fell more in love with this angel.

Pulling him to me for a cuddle, I ask him, “Ready to go?” He gives me a slobbery grin after I attack his face with a wet wipe to clean him up.

On the way out of the door, I grab Donovan’s sippy cup of milk so he can devour it on the way to the day care, effectively distracting him from being strapped in his seat.

At times, he turns into an acrobat and flings his body, trying every way he can not to get into the seat. It’s a battle I have lost many times, so now I bribe him.

I buckle him in his car seat and check his diaper to ensure he is dry.

Then I kiss his little cheek and shut the door, practically running to the driver’s side as I’m late for work. I’m thankful I have such an understanding boss, because sometimes I must leave work in the middle of the workday if he is sick.

One of the worst things happened a month or so ago at the day care. At the time, we didn’t know Donovan had a peanut allergy when someone brought in some cookies with nuts in them.

It was horrifying to see him gasping for air that way. Luckily, the day care had an EpiPen on hand, and then we rushed him to the ER to get him tested for allergies.

I now always keep one in my purse, his diaper bag, and an extra at the day care in case something like that happens again.

The thought of losing him is a pain I don’t think I could survive. I pull up in my parking spot, directly behind the day care and the pharmacy.

One of the day care workers sees me walking in front of the glass window and opens the door for me. “How is Donovan today?” she asks, smiling at him.

He grins back at her and lifts his arms for her to take him. It makes it easier that he likes being here. She takes his bag from me, and they go through the door where the day care is located.

I rub my hand over my heart, hating that I must leave him. It never gets easier, but I will see him when I collect him for lunch at the diner in a few hours.

The pharmacy is a short walk, and all the girls wave at me in greeting before I go to store my things away in the office, where the lockers are kept.

I smooth my hair down with the backs of my hands because Donovan was playing with it and mussed it up.

The morning passed quickly, and it is now time for lunch. I grab my purse and walk to the day care next door.

I see Donovan through the window. The day care workers are used to me coming to get him at this time every day and are usually waiting for me.

“Hi, sweet boy.” He giggles and smacks his hands, and I kiss him on his chubby cheek. It’s hard to believe that he will be turning two very soon.

I check for vehicles before walking across a short highway to the other side of the street, where the diner that serves the best food in the world is.

The last time I was here, Meghan, one of the waitresses, offered to help babysit Donovan. It was a kind and unexpected offer. I have yet to allow anyone to help me… Ever?

---