Page 133 of Captive Heart

She comes to me, drawn like a magnet to run her hand over my back in soothing little circles. Shuddering, I grit my teeth.

I hate her touch. Hate the fact that I need it. Hate that it feels like a balm to soothe my troubled soul. Hate the way that it puts another chink in my armor.

I stand stiff and still, staring blankly out the window. Just outside, rolling green hills and the blue-black ocean beckon. But I am hyper focused on how good it feels to have her caress my back.

Jaysus, but I have gone soft to my core.

She runs her hand over my back for a minute more before continuing to ask me questions.

“Do you think that your mother was unaffected by your father’s temper?”

I scoff. “No. If anything, she got it worse than anyone.”

Penny’s hand stops moving against my back. “Can I ask… if you know that, why are you so mad that she left?”

“Because I had to stay!” I growl. “She left and never even tried to come back.”

She is quiet for a moment. “Who told you that?”

Looking at Penny with a scowl, I gesticulate. “What do ye mean, who? No one told me. I was there. I would’ve noticed.”

She pins me in place with a look.

“You were a little boy. Your father was in control. Your mother may have attempted contact any number of times without you being any the wiser.”

Picturing the mean old man who called himself my father, I can see him lying to me without remorse. God knows, my father did every single thing he could get away with.

Why not tell his sons that their mother had abandoned them?

“Hades.”

I turn, my fists clenched, my body ready for a fight. But Persephone just gives me a hint of a smile.

“It’s not easy to think of what could have happened in the past. Especially when you were too young to even know what was going on. I’m not saying that my suspicions are right. I’m just pointing out that there is obviously some kind of critical information that is missing here.”

“So what? Ma still chose not to take us. She didn’t contact us. She chose to start a new life here without us while we were still stuck in that hellhole. Is there really any way those facts can be interpreted differently?”

Her eyes narrow. “Context is everything. Besides, I feel like you’re repeating something that your dad told you guys when in reality, it may be untrue. I think your dad told you that in order to shift the blame from squarely on him to your mom. Since she wasn’t in the picture, she didn’t even get the chance to defend herself.”

I swear, for a second, all I hear is, it’s your fault, Hades.

“Of course ye would say that! Ye women are all the same. My ma left because it’s what women do! They just leave and they don’t bother with goodbyes.” I am seething, lowering my voice to drive home my point. “Just wait. One day, ye’ll leave too.”

Penny’s jaw drops. She puts her hand on my arm. “Is that what you think? That I’m just playing around? Look at me, Hades. Look at how freaking pregnant I am! I can’t just leave you without saying a word. Honestly.”

Looking away from her, I feel keyed up. “I think ye would. If ye get up the nerve, I think ye would leave eventually.”

She’s quiet for a full minute.

“Look at me.” Penny turns my face towards her with a finger. “Does your work make you happy?”

“Does it… does it make me happy?!” I blurt out. “No, of course not. It makes me wealthy. It makes me powerful. It puts me on every government’s hit list. Happiness isn’t why I got into the business in the first place.”

She grabs me by the arms, pushing me until I square up to her, my mouth pressed in a grim line. Her hand trails down to rest on my chest.

“Can I tell you something?”

I grab her hand a little too hard and step up, so that her belly rests against me. “Can I stop ye?”

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