Page 31 of Red

My skin starts to crawl, it’s like I have a million tiny bugs crawling all over. Rubbing my hands up and down over my arms, I need this feeling to go away. My brain switches to Nicholas and his words.

No matter what he thinks, I will not marry him. I’ll kill him first before we even have a chance to walk down the aisle. My limbs feel heavy from whatever that douche injected me with. I scoot down against the wall before my legs give out, leaning my head back. I do everything in my power to fight the drugs. The last thing I remember is my mind reminding me, You can’t fall asleep, Blanche. You need to be able to get out of here. You can’t let them win.

I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute.

I hear the metal door unlatch and then start to scrap against the concrete floor, causing me to wake up. Shit! I must’ve passed out! My body feels so heavy. Am I dreaming? My grandmother walks in, with a voice of disgust, and greets me, “Good morning, Blanche.”

I pinch myself to see if it’s real, she must be really here. I answer her, “Good morning, Grandmother.”

I’m looking at her and she looks funny. She’s dressed in a wolf costume. Fuck, if this isn’t a dream than I’m losing it. Feeling delirious, I start giggling and say, “Why, Grandmother, what big ears do you have?”

That’s weird. I swear I hear her say, “To hear you better with, dear.”

Giggling more, I think, oh shit, I’m tripping on something. Moving closer to her to get a better look, I hear the words come out of my mouth. “Why, Grandmother, what big eyes do you have?”

My ears must be playing tricks on me because she says, “It’s better to see you with, my dear.” What the fuck kind of dream is this?

I feel like I am in a state between dreaming and being awake. My body feels as if it’s floating in the air. Laughing more, I hear the words floating around me, “Why, Grandmother, what big teeth do you have?”

Did those thoughts come from me? Glancing over at Grandmother, she smiles back at me, “It’s better to eat you with.” She lunges towards me faster than I would ever think that she could move.

My body jerks awake coated in sweat, but still feeling cold. Rubbing my arms to help me get rid of the despair that weird dream left me with, I’m not even sure what that was. Could it have been from whatever Nicholas gave me?

This time the door opens for real. My grandmother walks in and following her is Gregory with a tray of food. As soon as I see the food, it’s as if my body doesn’t remember the last time it ate because it lets out a loud grumble. While Gregory places the tray down on the ground in front of me giving me a soft smile, I return it with a harsh glare. I can’t believe this is the same man who raised me. Is he really going to let her do this to me?

I’m sure I look like a crazy hot mess. I can feel the dried sweat on my body, my hair is sticking up all over and my clothes are covered in dirt. Gregory takes the hint that I don’t want anything to do with him and he backs away. I eye that tray of food but refuse to eat it. My body is angry with me for not eating the food that’s been placed in front of me.

My grandmother demands, “Eat!”

I tighten my lips into a flat line and push the tray towards her. There’s no way I’m eating this shit. What if she drugs me again? I can’t give her the satisfaction that she has gotten to me. My grandmother doesn’t care if I eat or not, she only cares about herself.

“Suit yourself.” She moves around the tray of food that I discarded, starting with her bullshit. “I didn’t want to have to do this. I was hoping the transition from me to you would go a lot easier, but you were always a difficult child.”

I think about what she is saying, and I wonder what she means, a difficult child. She never even spent time with me. It dawns on me that she means I was difficult when I wanted to spend time with her instead of Maria and Gregory. You know, like a normal child needing love and affection from those who claim to love them. Well, fuck this bitch!

When I get out of here and find Zeev, she’ll be very lucky if she survives after locking me up like a dog. Turning my back to her, the crazy old lady continues to her vile spew.

“Your husband is no longer alive. Therefore in two weeks, you will marry Nicholas and you will become the leader for The Wolves in name only. You will allow your new husband to rule Le Milieu since it is obvious that you are not fit.”

The more she talks, the angrier I become. Trying to keep the emotion down, I start to ball my hands at my side. Then her voice reaches my ears, “If it wasn’t for the fact that the members want a blood family member to be in charge, I would have given up on you a long time ago.”

Is she trying to provoke me? My blood is boiling and I’m not sure why I’m holding back. It’s never helped me before. What do I have to lose? I’m locked in a fucking basement!

Gritting my teeth, I ball up my hands into fists. I finally let out everything I’ve been feeling over the last few weeks, shouting, “Fuck you! I will never marry Nicholas! I will kill him first!”

Trying to calm myself, I turn my back and lower my voice a tad, “I don’t give a fuck what you think. You’ve never cared about me, no matter how hard I’ve tried to get your affection. Tell me, why should I care about what you want? You’re nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Needing to know her reaction, I look her straight in the eyes, and I can see that I’m getting to her but I don’t care. That bitch can rot in hell.

Chapter 23

Blanche

It’s been about a week since my visit with Grandmother or Nicholas. Even though it’s only been a week it feels as if it’s been longer. To keep myself from going crazy, I’ve been counting my meals to help keep track of time. I originally went on a hunger strike when I was first locked up. I didn’t want to give them a chance to drug me again, but quickly realized I needed to eat to have energy if I wanted to get out of here.

Gregory is the person that I have been in contact with over the last week, but only when he brings me food. He tries to talk to me every time he comes, but I refuse. I‘ll give him credit though, he is relentless. I don’t care what he has to say though, unless he is going to help me get out of here.

Today, Gregory places a tray down in front of me and looks at me this time with a look of pity. I don’t want his pity. Giving him a look of disgust, I pout a bit. I just want to get out of here. Gregory doesn’t speak to me, he just leaves. I go to eat my tray of food and notice a paper folded up underneath my plate. I look around the room to make sure this isn’t a trick. I check the corners of the room to confirm that there aren’t any cameras. Not seeing anything that would indicate trouble, I unfold the paper and the only words that are on the paper read, “he’s alive.”

---