Page 22 of Red

Chapter 15

Blanche

Leaning into Zeev, I wrap my arms around him. I felt deep down inside of me that he needed a hug. At first, he seems like he’s not sure what to do, but then his arms wrap around me tightening. He grazes his lips over mine, giving me a chaste kiss. Zeev seems to give me a sense of stability and safety that I’ve never felt before. He makes me want to take a chance on him. I decided that I will go with his plan, including getting married to him. Stepping away from the safety of his embrace, I give into his plan.

“I think tomorrow we should get married. Let’s get married sooner than later. When we return to my grandmothers' house, we can announce the marriage and let her know that I plan on taking over for her in the family business.”

Zeev pulls out his phone. “I was hoping you would go with my plan. I already had my associate prepare the marriage license earlier when you were baking. I trust him to keep it a secret. We don’t want it released until we’re ready. Let me get him on the phone to confirm.”

He presses a number, but I can’t see the name as he turns his back on me. A sharp pain slices through my heart and the thoughts of why he already had a marriage license start to go through my head. The wicked words of insecurity start to whisper in my head.

“He is only using you to get to your grandmother. He doesn’t care about you. Didn’t you hear him? He already had a marriage license ready. Was he going to just force me to marry him? Would he have even cared if I had said no?”

My heart knows that Zeev was just taking action hoping I would go along with his plan and it shouldn’t upset me. Luckily, the timer goes off on the oven interrupting my worst inner thoughts. I walk into the kitchen and pull the coffee cake out of the oven and let it cool. Standing in the kitchen, I remind myself that I can trust him, that Zeev hasn’t given me any reasons not to.

Calming down a little, my frustration starts to rise again but with myself. That I didn’t set boundaries and expectations with Zeev about our partnership. Taking a cleansing breath, I know that I need to take action and talk with him about how this is gonna work. I won’t just sit back and let him run things and tell me what I have to do.

Grabbing a knife from the drawer, I head towards the coffee cake and start to cut it into pieces, placing one on a plate for each of us. Zeev walks into the kitchen and sits on a stool at the counter in front of the plate with the coffee cake on it. He takes a bite and with a full mouth he murmurs, “Everything is set for tomorrow, and this cake is really good.”

Smiling at his reaction to my cake, I decided to trust myself and ignore the thoughts of insecurity. It’s time to set the boundaries for the plan that Zeev devised. I need to make sure that I have a voice within it. For my sanity, I can’t have this marriage be unbalanced.

Zeev always seems to read me perfectly, no matter how I try to hide my feelings. It’s like he’s in tune with me. He stops eating and carefully asks, “Is something wrong, Red? I want to make sure that you're okay with everything.”

Not sure how to answer, I keep my eyes trained on the coffee cake that we’re eating while contemplating my thoughts and how to convey them. Becoming impatient, Zeev stands up and walks around the counter. He places his arms on each side of me, caging me in against the wall. My heart starts to kick up with how close he is to me.

Turning towards him, I whisper, “I didn’t like that you already had the marriage license without asking me first. Were you planning on forcing me to marry you? I should have been a part of the conversation before you did anything. You’re not the only person getting married. I need it to be a partnership.”

I breathe a deep slow breath to calm my heart which is beating so hard at the thought of telling him these things. I didn’t even realize that I had said all of it so fast. Zeev smiles at me then he leans down and gives me a chaste kiss, then a low rumble from his chest comes out. Is he laughing at me?

Of course it makes me smile, cutting the anxiety that was welling up inside of me. I love his laugh. It’s so beautiful I could become addicted to that laugh.

Smiling, he huffs out, “How hard was that for you to say?” His eyes softened even more. “Red, I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you. I was just trying to have a plan ready. I contacted my friend Jake to help us. This time tomorrow we’ll be married.”

“You’re right. I just think I’ve had so many changes for the last couple of weeks that my mind is running rampant. Everything I thought I knew about my family is a lie. I think I’m just needing to have control over something in my life, and right now it’s our marriage. I even want us to be on the same page for when we decide to go our separate ways.”

Zeev's smile slips, but I’m not sure what caused it. He nods his head and pushes off the wall. I can’t read him as well as he can read me, but my gut is saying that something is wrong. Zeev ends up going about the rest of the day as normal. I convince myself that I must’ve imagined that something was wrong.

The next morning a white sundress is lying next to the bed. I rub my hand lightly across it. The material of the dress is so soft. Next to the dress I see a note that is beautifully written.

I had to run out and get some things done before we get married this afternoon. Here’s a dress for my beautiful lady. I can’t wait to marry you. Yours -Zeev

I place the dress down on the bed and head to the bathroom. I need to shower so I have time to get ready. Last night, Zeev mentioned that we would get married here at the cabin and that his friend Jake would come and officiate the wedding, having us fill out the license right before they close.

Stepping out of the shower, I dry my body off with the towel. I look at myself in the mirror and I can see that I have already become a different version of myself. Somehow I’ve become a stronger person, learning to trust my instincts. This whole ordeal has taught me that my instincts are strong enough for me to rely on. I’m not sure when the change occurred, but the fact that I’m okay with getting married without a declaration of love proves that I’m not the same woman as before.

I’ve always envisioned my wedding and how whoever I was marrying would be surrounded by flowers all while declaring our love and vows forever to each other. Instead, I’m marrying a man who isn’t in love with me and we’ll be surrounded by trees.

As I’m getting dressed, I think about getting married to Zeev. I know we're getting married to make sure that my grandmother can’t force me to marry that ogre Nicholas, but I wish it was for love. We’ve only known each other for a short period, and I can see myself falling for him. I feel safe with him. I wonder if he sees me in his future. Zeev is rough around the edges, but he’s still good underneath it. I just can’t believe that this man would want to marry me, even if it's for business or revenge.

I’ve taken so long to get ready and reflect on my choices, it's suddenly time for us to marry. Ready to start executing our plan, I walk out into the living room from the bedroom. The first thing my eyes land on is Zeev standing there in khaki slacks and a black button-down. I think the breath in my lungs has escaped my body, I can’t seem to catch it. I have to remind myself to breathe.

The man has never looked sexier. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone in this world look this sexy before. It’s not fair, this is on another level. Feeling my nerves, I try my hardest to not rub my hands all over him and rip his clothes off. I silently think to myself, Get yourself together Blanche, and don’t act like some horny teenager. This marriage is for a purpose.

Taking a deep breath, I decide it’s probably safer if I stop ogling my soon-to-be husband. I glance at the man standing next to him. He’s a blonde in the same outfit. This must be Jake that Zeev mentioned. Deciding to keep moving forward, I convince my legs to move closer. The whole time I was heading towards them, I kept myself from thinking of how attracted I am to Zeev.

This is a marriage of convenience, not a real marriage. No matter how much I wish it was real, he can make me feel so much. Focusing my attention on what is happening, I put my hand out.

“You must be Jake? I’m Blanche. Thanks for doing this for us. We appreciate it.”

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