Page 92 of Useless Love

Part of me is happy, the other part terrified. “This is all happening so fast.”

She laughs. “Fast? You’ve had several months to prepare.”

I’m alone in Carmine’s office, so I speak candidly and say, “I didn’t, though. Until last week I expected Ari to take my place. Now suddenly I’m married and moving in with my husband. I’m going to miss you and everyone else.” I sniff, feeling tears pool in my eyes. Reality is hitting me quick. This is really happening?

“I understand because I went through the same thing when I married your father. But I’ll visit you every day until you adjust.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

That gives me some comfort, but there’s still the problem with the lie. When he thought I wasn’t a virgin, he was hot-tempered, so when I tell him my real name, I have no idea how he’ll react. “But what about when I tell him—”

“It will be fine, Gaia. Your father will explain things to him adequately.”

A part of me deeply hates being this close to twenty-one and still depending on my father to fix everything. When will I ever grow up and stop being a burden? But if Father can help Carmine understand, maybe Mother is right and everything will be okay.

After hanging up with Mother, I go downstairs to find Carmine getting ready to leave for business. I know that our wedding and mini-vacation set him back, so he’s probably going to be gone a lot, finishing up so we can go back to NYC.

I rush to give him a kiss goodbye since I might not see him for the rest of the day. “I’ll miss you,” I tell him.

“Fuck. I’ll miss you too. Why don’t you come with me to the meetings? Be my arm candy."

“Carmine, be serious,” I reply, laughing as I playfully hit him.

“I am serious.”

“Women aren’t allowed at business meetings.”

“Says who?”

“Well…” I think about it for a moment. I have no idea because women have always been kept out of things and I’ve never questioned it. Father just told me that’s the way it is.

Carmine smiles. “See? There’s no one saying you can’t come, and I’m the fucking boss. If I want you there, that’s the way it is.”

“Really?”

He nods before kissing me silly.

Holding hands, we both leave the house and spend the day all over California in meetings. All of the meetings go well except the very last one, which is in the evening over dinner. I haven't asked what any of the meetings are about, but it seems Carmine is working to establish relationships with some of the organizations in California. The organization he's meeting for dinner is the Gonzalez family. They're all bulky Hispanic men, and most of them are respectful. But as I sit at the table next to my husband, one Gonzalez man keeps staring at my chest. My cleavage is showing a little bit, but not in a scandalous way. Still, my breasts are large and no dress is going to change that. I'm also not wearing a bra because that's what Carmine wants.

For the entire day, the men at the meetings have been respectful since Carmine is my husband. But this one man, right in front of my husband, just keeps staring, even daring to lick his lips as if he wants to grab my boobs right here at the table.

I look away because I feel uncomfortable and I don't like him staring at me. Does he eyefuck every woman like this? Many men bring their mistresses or girlfriends to meetings, intending to show off their prizes, but it's very disrespectful to ogle the boss's wife like this.

I can tell Carmine notices the man, because his body is very tense like he's about to explode. and he keeps putting a protective arm around my shoulder.

Towards the end of dinner, the man finally says to Carmine, “You got lucky with this one. Your girl is gorgeous.”

I speak up, trying to diffuse the situation. “Well, I am a Bencivenga.” I nearly laugh because the man's eyes widen. My father's name is notorious and disrespect to his family equals a death sentence.

Carmine is still eyeing the man dangerously, looking like he's ready to murder him. I touch his arm, trying to keep him calm.“My father values respect above all things, and so does my husband.”

“Wait” someone else at the table says, “I have my invite at home. Isn’t the wedding in a month or two?”

“The official wedding is later, but we couldn’t wait,” Carmine bites out, still glaring at that one man. “So you should be careful about how you address my wife.”

The man lowers his head and a few others whisper apologies. The meeting is over so I'm expecting us to leave, but instead Carmine orders everyone to get out of the private room.

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