Page 55 of Useless Love

“It would make some sort of fucking sense about why you’re acting strange. Or if you and your twin are playing some fucking game with me. Was it you at breakfast yesterday?”

I’m trembling and I close my eyes. What do I do? He can’t know. I can’t have him hating me. Victoria told me what Arianna did—she put her hand on Carmine’s thigh and kissed him goodbye out of nowhere. She even called him “Daddy” which is something I’m not sure I could ever get out of my mouth. But…I have to do something.

I turn to face him, gathering as much courage as I can. “Yes, it was me. I was just in a bad mood because…I failed a test.”

He shakes his head. “No. You’re being forced to be with me. Forced to convince me you want the marriage, but deep down you don’t.”

Without letting myself think, I touch his thigh, then I kiss him. His body stiffens, but I don’t pull away. Finally, he sighs and kisses me back. It’s a sweet, passionate kiss that leaves me blushing. When I pull away, every part of me wants to look away, but the real Arianna wouldn’t, and I have to convince him that he met me yesterday at breakfast.

But as I’m trying to be strong, tears fall down my face. I give him the truth that’s in my heart. “Carmine, I want to marry you. I want to marry you so bad it hurts. I want you to be mine, but you keep putting off the wedding. I want you to have all of me, mind, body, and—”

He kisses me again with even more passion than before. I cling to his jacket, never wanting the kiss to end.”

When he pulls back, he brushes a thumb along my cheek, and the gentle Carmine is back. “Tell me what’s going on?”

I can’t. I can’t because you’ll hate me. “I got scared and I was pulling away. I’m sorry.”

“Scared because of what we did? I thought you enjoyed it.”

“I did. That’s not the reason.”

“Then what’s there to be scared of? We are consenting adults who will be married soon.”

I reach out and squeeze his hands. “I love the way you touch me. What I’m scared of, you can’t fix, and it’s hard to explain.”

Removing his hand from my grasp, Carmine wipes the tears from my cheeks. “Then what can I do to help? Just let me help.”

“Just…please set a date. That’s what I need.”

He nods. “Done. Shit, I might need to run out of town again, but we should be able to look at a calendar together before I go.”

I smile at his agreement to set a date finally. I’ll drive myself crazy playing this game much longer. If Arianna doesn’t hop in soon, it might break me to leave Carmine’s side. I know Mother said she would talk to Father, but I know him; he’ll never allow me to marry Carmine. And I think Arianna feels she’s doing some great sacrifice for our family, so I don’t think she’ll agree either.

No, Carmine isn’t meant to be my husband. It hurts too much, so I need to get this over with a swap with the real Ari.

Carmine runs his fingers through my hair. “Just so we're clear, before our vows are exchanged, I must fucking know what has you scared to tears.”

“That problem shouldn’t exist by then,” I answer. Before he can ask anything else, I say, “Sorry, Carmine, I must prepare for the party. See you later.”

CHAPTER 17 — Questions

Carmine

I just finished buying an expensive necklace for Arianna’s mother. The party isn’t until this evening, so I’m hoping to get some more intel first before I go. I already talked to Carla. She asked around her friend groups and they said none of them have ever seen the other Bencivenga twin on campus. But one of them mentioned rumors that she sleeps around a lot.

I’m not trying to jump to conclusions, but considering I heard the same rumors in Chicago, I’m more willing to believe it. My princess has said she’s her father’s favorite…guess I understand why now. If it’s true the other twin sleeps around, Bencivenga might know and isn’t happy about it.

Of course, the rumors could still be fake—created by enemies to tarnish the Bencivenga name. In our world, that happens a lot.

Irritated that I’m lacking so much info, I call Sammy. “Anything?” I bark at him. I know I just asked him this morning, but it feels like I’m dealing with a ticking time bomb here. ’What the hell is taking you so long? Has none of the information arrived yet?”

Sammy clears his throat. “B-Boss, it has only been six hours.”

“I understand. And I understand you’re still new, but that’s how this works. If you want to stay one of my trusted men, you need to work fast.”

“Y-Yes. I’m trying. I swear. I’m not going to let you down. All I have right now is intel that Bencivenga has three daughters. Victoria and a set of twins. One twin, Bencivenga credits with saving his life. The other is some sort of black sheep—”

“Black sheep? Which one is the fucking black sheep?” If it’s about her sleeping around, it only adds more weight to the rumors.

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