Page 28 of Useless Love

The guards and I all head off to breakfast. The Gaudino townhouse isn’t far away, just west of Central Park. Carla, Carmine, and their mother, Claudia Gaudino, greet me at the door.

Carla gives me a hug. “It’s great to see you.”

“Wow, you brought a small army,” Mrs. Gaudino says in amazement, glancing at the guards behind me. “Just for a simple breakfast with us?”

“That’s to be expected,” Carmine says, stepping forward to put his hand on the small of my back and guide me inside. The touch sends a shiver up my spine, especially since I was fantasizing about his touch all last night.

I give Mrs. Gaudino a polite smile. “Sorry. I have no say in my security.”

Eventually, we are seated at a modest dining table. A few moments later, Sal Gaudino arrives. He didn’t come downstairs for breakfast. He entered through the front door.

Does he not live here?

He sits at the table, not even saying high to his family, and starts buttering himself some toast.

Mrs. Gaudino simply ignores him, like his cold demeanor is normal. She grins at me and takes my hand. “I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’d like you to know that Carmine’s father and I would welcome the marriage. Peace between our two families is a blessing I have prayed for.”

“Me too,” I tell her, feeling so welcomed by her presence. She’s more inviting and warm than I had expected.

She squeezes my hand in response, her grin widening.

She’s being so nice to me that I add, “Thank you for inviting me to breakfast. You have a lovely home. And I want you to know that I’m looking forward to becoming Mrs. Carmine Gaudino.” Lies. Arianna will become his wife, not me.

While I’m hiding the guilt I feel, I meet Carmine’s gaze. He looks satisfied. Maybe a little horny. I look away, focusing again on his mother.

Mr. Gaudino eats silently while the rest of us talk about light-hearted topics, like current events and the weather. All of us are aware not to discuss family conflicts or politics, so our conversation is surface-level. After breakfast, my guards linger in the living room, while Carla and Carmine’s parents disappear. We’re mostly alone—of course my guards are close enough to hear me scream and act quickly if needed.

Carmine gives me a tour of his family home, while guilt eats away at me, churning with the eggs and waffles in my stomach. Despite Arianna’s anger at this family, it seems they really are trying to achieve peace. Yet here I am deceiving them. I don’t know how much longer I can do this; I’m having so many doubts. Father told me he would never, ever make Victoria wed Carmine, so I’m no longer doing this for her?

So what am I doing this for? Carmine hasn’t set a date, but he already seems to like “Arianna.” Father told me to play along until the day of the wedding, but maybe we should switch now. Or, I should force him to set a date and then stop seeing him.

This entire situation is starting to affect my heart.

Carmine is showing me his office while trying to read my thoughts—I recognize his puzzled gaze. When we first started spending time together, I only worried about saying the right thing, but all I’m worried about now is the wetness building between my thighs. Carmine keeps putting his hand on my lower back. And his body is so close to mine.

My cheeks flush. Have I always been this easy? I’m a church girl, not some sex crazed woman. My body needs to stop doing this.

Before Carmine, my only experience with anything close to sex was when a guy friend attempted to touch me. I hadn’t even known he liked me in that way, but while we were watching a movie in the penthouse theater, he put his arm around my shoulder. When I glanced at his pants, there was a noticeable bulge. He also kept staring at my breasts. He pleaded to kiss me right then and there, but the soldiers noticed his hand around my shoulder and quickly escorted him out.

I never saw him again. I didn’t ask, but I think Father killed him. The poor boy.

Father wants me to remain pure, and I’m doing my best to fulfill his wishes. Ever since that incident, I’ve stayed away from men. I can’t have another missing person on my conscience. Arianna is allowed to spend time with men—well, Father doesn’t “allow” it but he knows and chooses to ignore her escapades—but there’s more pressure on me.

Carmine takes my hand and guided me to a couch in the corner of his office. I notice many photos framed around the room. I’m sure Father has killed more than half the people on these walls.

Panic sets in. My chest tightens. Carmine only smiles deviously, clearly sensing my discomfort.

He touches my hair. “You know, when we first met at your penthouse, you said you were willing to bear children for me, even though motherhood is an idea you need to adjust to. Yet, today, you’re ready to jump out a nearby window to avoid being alone with me. So which is it? You want my seed or not?”

His gruff voice goes right to my core, making me even wetter. I squeeze my thighs, hoping that will relieve the ache. I need to calm down. I need to get him focused on the next step. Babies will come in the future and they’ll be with the real Arianna.

“When do you want to get married?” I say quickly. “Have you found any potential traps our fathers might be planning? If not, we should really set a date. Maybe next month.”

Carmine isn’t listening, though, and seems sidetracked. He’s focused only on one thing: my body. He whispers into my ear since my guards are right outside the door. “What color panties are you wearing?”

Blue, wait, no, I can’t answer that. I straighten my spine. “I’m not going to answer that. We have more serious things we should be——”

He kisses my neck, making me shiver. “Last night, I spilled in my pants thinking of worshiping these gorgeous tits of yours,” he says. “If you took me back to church, I’d have to confess that I jerk off to you multiple times a day. All that semen going to waste when it should be inside you.”

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