Page 86 of Useless Love

“Oh—” I cut in. “I'm sure father got everything correct. He called your mother last night to verify the details. You don’t trust him?” Who am I right now? I’m being so manipulative.

Carmine studies me for a moment, then his face softens. “Yes, I suppose you're right.”

Mr. Stern collects our IDs and then walks away to make photocopies. I reach for Carmine's hands, praying everything will work out. Please work out.

Carmine looks at me in the most adorable way. "Nervous?" he asks.

You have no idea! I reach for his chin and say, "Excited. Just very Excited."

"Your innocence drives me wild," Carmine says while twirling my new engagement ring.

Carla and her mother giggle and sigh while snapping more pictures.

Innocent? Today, I’m anything but that. I am taking a page from my sister's book: acting now and thinking later.

Mr. Stern reappears, returns our IDs, and then encourages us to step up to the officiant. As we approach, a terrifying thought grabs me: Don't officiants say a couple’s legal names during the vows?

I turned to Carmine quickly. “Can I…can I speak to him alone for a moment?”

Carmine gives me a questioning look, but not. I quickly pull the officiant outside into the hallway.

He's an older man, with kind eyes. “What is it my dear? How can I help?”

“I was wondering about…Could you call me Arianna? It’s a nickname and…”

He only smiles. “It's okay. Your father spoke with me and I understand the situation. Everything's going to be okay.”

“Really?” I exhale, so grateful for Father’s help because I need it!

We return to a curious looking Carmine. I stand next to him and take his hands.

“What was that about?” he whispers.

“Oh, just a quick question. We can talk about it later.” I really don’t want to talk about it later, so I'm hoping he will forget to ask.

We stand, holding hands and facing each other, while Carla and Mrs. Gaudino bear witness. The violinist starts to play, and I'm already on the verge of tears. The officiant reads A short bible verse that makes me feel like the guilt inside me is eating me alive. Then he talks about the importance of marriage and love, adding in that trust is the best foundation. Even though this is the day I'm marrying the man I love, and should be the happiest day of my life, by the time we get to the end I'm feeling a bit sick. Unfortunately for Carmine, he was just deceived into a union with a liar who has no backbone.

“I now pronounce You husband and wife. You may seal this union with a kiss!”

Following orders, Carmine quickly grabs me and kisses me so deeply I can feel it in my toes. His lips are firm and insistent, pressing against mine with a sense of urgency. And the warmth of his arms wraps around me seeps through my dress. Even though his mother and sister are in the same room, he pushes his tongue into my mouth, giving me a taste of what’s going to come later. My toes curl and tingle with the sensation, as if being brought to life by the emotion in this moment.

My entire body flushes; I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle experiencing all of him for the first time tonight.

He finally pulls back and I imagine we’re both thinking the same thing: The wait is over.

He leans close to my ear to whisper, "There is no way tonight will pass without me having what’s mine by right and law."

Hearing this, my eyes widen. I’m not scared, I only hope the others in the room didn't hear his vow to deflower me.

Wait. What about Carla and Claudia? They’ll be in the house.

Interrupting my thoughts, the officiant clears his voice. “I just need you both to sign your marriage license, and I will submit it today.”

Marriage license…the one with my real name. A wave of panic washes over me. I'm simply not cut out for lying and tricking people. Even though Arianna has pointed out that I've been doing so well for months with Carmine, my hands feel sweaty, and my armpit is not far behind.

I’m going to hell for this, aren't I?

All of this does not go unnoticed by Carmine. “What’s wrong, princess?” he asks.

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