Page 84 of The Trouble with Wanting

“But the masochist in me wants to give him a chance to do it right. If he’s having discussions with Linda before coming to invite me to dinner…I don’t know, it seems like he’s trying.” Then she shrugs a shoulder and snuggles farther into the couch. “I mean, he has his faults, but he seemed sincere yesterday, so…”

There are a million things I’ve yet to learn about Ruby, but something I’m quickly picking up on is her desire to give people chances. She is a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person, the type who will never write someone off completely.

What a wonderful thing to be in a world full of judgmental assholes, and yet what a difficult way to live your life when so many people look for any opportunity to take advantage of others.

“I understand completely,” I say, even though I selfishly wish she’d give him the boot and come on the hike with us.

I could never ask her to do that. She’s supposed to be here to spend time with him, though his own actions don’t necessarily reflect that he’s taking it seriously. If she feels like skipping out on the hike means she’ll get more time with the man who left her behind, possibly giving them an opportunity to reconcile, the best thing I can do is be supportive.

Ruby suddenly pops up from the couch. “I don’t want to think about it,” she tells me. “What I want is to go jet-skiing with my more-than-a-friend, Boyd.”

I bite my lip, loving her little joke and completely on board with helping distract her from the more intense issues at hand.

“I’ll go with you, under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t need to rent jet skis. It’s a waste of money when we have some.”

Her eyes widen, her excitement growing.

“Well that’s even more awesome because it means I can save that money and use it toward buying more ridiculous souvenirs to take home with me.”

“Oh my god, tell me you didn’t just say more. What did you already buy?”

She bounces up and down, still wrapped around my waist, shaking me with her.

“The cutest things ever, duh. I like to support small businesses.”

I roll my eyes, pretending I don’t find her excitement about cheap tchotchke bullshit endearing when I totally do. I also don’t have the heart to tell her all the little things she’s purchased were likely made in China and not here in Cedar Point.

When she drags me behind her through the house and over to where she has her prized new possessions sitting out on a side table, I make sure to compliment each one.

Because seeing her face light up is quickly becoming the best fucking part of my day.

* * *

“I’m moving home.”

My head jerks to the side when I hear my sister’s words, shock and confusion rippling through my body.

We just got done with dinner, all of us sitting down for a big pasta dish my mom made after we spent a few hours getting things ready for the hike tomorrow. It was our first family-only meal since all of us have been home, and everyone shared their life updates.

Busy talked about the summer job she had as a camp counselor a few hours away and Bellamy lamented her fears about not knowing what she wants to do when she graduates next year. Bishop shared his excitement about possibly getting picked up by a triple-A team after his final season playing college baseball. I talked briefly about my possible upcoming promotion, though I leave out the fact I’ve been mostly ignoring work since coming to town which I’m sure isn’t doing me any favors.

Briar was noticeably tight-lipped, though she did share how things at her shop have been going. She’s been working as a florist at a boutique down the mountain, and as far as I’m aware, she loves her job.

So her words right now are nothing short of confusing.

“You’re moving home,” I repeat, staring at her as we both enjoy the warmth of the fire pit.

It’s just the two of us out here. Everyone else is inside watching a movie, and for once, I’m thankful that my sister decided to intrude on what I was hoping would be some quiet alone time.

Out of all of my siblings, Briar and I are the closest, which is why her distance since she arrived a few days ago has been noticeable—though I’m sure my near obsession with spending time with Ruby was a factor as well.

“Yeah,” she says, her face remaining stoic and emotionless. “I need a break from…everything.”

There are unspoken words there, and I wouldn’t be a good big brother if I didn’t address them. “Chad, you mean.”

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