Page 59 of The Trouble with Wanting

Bishop groans. Busy scrambles up to sitting and begins to clap her hands excitedly. Briar and Bellamy stay in their seated positions with arms crossed.

I, personally, don’t care what we’re doing. I just want to get it over with, stat.

“Where do you normally take pictures?” Ruby asks, confusion marring her brow.

I lift my thumb and smooth it down, making her smile.

“Mom has been telling us for years that we’re going to take a family picture of all of us jumping off the dock and into the lake, but each year, she chickens out and ends up just having us take a posed picture instead. She likes to pretend we’re well-adjusted.”

My mom swats my arm.

“So you’re all going to jump into the lake?” Ruby asks. “Oh my gosh, that sounds so fun!”

“Yup.” Mom steps forward, a camera in her hands and a mischievous smile on her face. “And you’re going to take the picture.”

Ruby’s eyes widen as she glances up at me then looks back at my mom again.

“Huh?”

* * *

Watching Ruby climb into a rowboat and slowly make her way a safe distance away from the dock where my siblings, my parents, and I are lined up, I can’t help but think she looks perfect on the water.

A little nervous, sure, and clearly struggling as her rowboat spins slowly in a circle she can’t seem to figure out how to stop, but still.

Perfect.

“Normally, I’d give you shit about a girl,” Busy says, arms crossed as she stands next to me on the dock. “But I’ll give you a pass this time.”

Glancing down, I take in the fierce expression on my sister’s face and decide to humor her.

“Oh, and why is that?”

She lifts a shoulder in that way only teenagers can manage to pull off then looks up at me, her punkish little attitude taking a back seat for a minute. “Because I’ve never seen you look at someone like that before.”

My smile dips slightly, my whole body seeming to sober at her words.

Part of me wants to deny it, wants to insist anything happening between myself and Ruby shouldn’t be taken for much. It’s too fast. Too different. Too outside of my comfort zone.

But really, it’s the fact that my sister can read me that has thrown me for a loop. Busy has always been kind of lost in her own world, so if there is something on my face for her to see, something about the way I look at Ruby…it means everyone can see it.

Maybe even the sweet girl in the boat.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a real relationship, Boyd.” Her voice is low as she slips her hand into mine and gives it a squeeze.

It’s crazy how just a few softly spoken words from my sister can bubble up crazy emotions inside of my chest, creating an almost overwhelming feeling that I’m not entirely sure how to manage.

So, I do what makes me the most comfortable.

I take all those emotions and feelings and I package them into a box and set them to the side for now, where I can choose to ignore them or examine them at a better time.

Right now, I need to be focused on taking this picture for my mom, and she doesn’t want to see me staring awkwardly at the camera once she has them printed.

Wrapping an arm around Busy’s neck, I tug her close and plant a kiss on the crown of her head.

“You’re getting far too old, Little Bee,” I say, using the nickname I’ve had for her since she was a baby.

She snorts but doesn’t pull away. “You have no idea.”

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