Page 27 of Force a Date

“No. Finger-fucking a chick in high school is fine and dandy, but fucking you against a wall with half your air supply restricted is something else altogether.”

Liv’s face flushes pink, but her focus doesn’t stray off me. “You talk as though it comes from experience.”

“I just might.” I raise my shot glass, receiving the bartender’s attention for another.

“Doubtful.”

“Why? You think I need to put a knee brace on before I fuck a girl?”

“No. I just think you haven’t touched a woman in half a century.”

“Eh”—I slide my shot glass across the glossy wooden bartop—“I know about the bet going around the shop. What are you, like, seventy-six?”

Liv’s face just drops and I can’t help but smile victoriously with a chuckle. Those dumbasses that I work with don’t think I hear them with how loud they all are. I hear all their dirty laundry and every single girl problem each one of them has or doesn’t have.

“Seventy-two,” she finally says, her voice sounding as though she’s in a trance. “You knew about that?”

“You’ve noticed how loud the guys are. They’re children.”

All the time.

“Probably why I get along with them so well.” I smile at her making fun of herself with my ongoing kid shit.

“Maybe.” The bartender quickly slides me another shot and takes off without a word. “Or it’s because they like to flirt with the pretty receptionist.”

She reaches for my shot. “Now I know we need to cut you off.”

Pulling it away from her, I hit her with a blank stare. “I never said you were beautiful.”

“And now you’re getting back to normal.”

“Don’t fish for compliments, kid, I don’t hand them out a lot.”

“No one was fishing, but you’re a few seconds away from a sexual harassment suit.”

“Says the girl who stared at my ass on the way in and probably wants to see my dick next.”

“Can you find it?”

I’m so fucking thankful that I haven’t kicked my shot back because the sudden rupture of laughter that breaks from my throat would’ve made me choke because, the fuck?

“All right, Goliath,” she coos softly, patting the back of my shoulder lightly. “Time to get you home.”

“For me or you?” I say as I get myself together to finish off my fresh whiskey. “You gotta go before the streetlights come on?”

“No, because I think if you drink any more you’re gonna regret it tomorrow.”

“I’ll regret it either way. I agreed to do this.” Liv’s face skews up, already over my bitching about coming up here to see her family. “You gettin’ tired? You drove up here.”

“A little.”

I slide my ass off my chair and feel the reality of sitting here too long along with all the liquor going straight to my head. “Geezus Christ.”

“I can’t carry you, so don’t fall.”

I send her a mini glare and fish into the back pocket of my jeans. “I’m not a lightweight, Opie.”

“You just leaned forward like you were going to capsize.” Her eyes land on my wallet and she quickly shakes her head. “No, no. I’m paying. I am your bitch, after all.”

---