Page 192 of Lawless God

“And you never did.” He kisses my lips. “You would rather kill me than tell me about my children.”

“I’m sorry,” I whimper. “I’m sorry. Th-that I shot you. How did you? I watched you… You were dead.”

He chuckles against my lips. “Not all wounds to the chest are deadly. I am invincible, baby. You should ask my sister. You know she tried the same shit you did.”

“But the Lucianos…”

“Why don’t you worry about yourself. Why don’t you worry about your lies. I’m not a good man, but I was honest with you. I gave you my truths as I discovered them. Every single thing I started understanding about myself, about us, I told you. And in return, what? You plan my murder behind my back so you can go back to my daughters?”

“Stop calling them yours. They’re mine. You didn’t carry them. You didn’t bring them into this world. You weren’t there to watch them grow.”

“Because you put me in prison!” His roar startles me.

“Shh,” I panic, bringing my palms to his mouth. “Please, please, don’t scream. Don’t bring them in here.”

There’s almost a look of disgust on his face as he pushes my hands away. “Is that why you put me away? So I wouldn’t see them?”

“I sent you to prison because that’s the deal I had with the Wolves. I had no choice. They had already started helping us. You know that. It’s the rules of our business.”

“That’s the lies you told everyone.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t know. I promise you. I didn’t know. I was in denial. I learned about it when I was five months pregnant.”

His eyes round. “Five months?”

I nod, licking my lips. “You were already gone, and I’m the one who put my daughters’ father in prison. You were a criminal, dangerous. I couldn’t tell you. I was scared.”

“Kayla,” he growls. Something else is angering him. Something new. It’s like there’s nothing I can do to stop the onslaught of emotions overtaking him. “Were you with Ivan when you found out?”

I bite my lower lip to stop it from trembling. And I nod.

“You let another man raise my girls.”

“No. Yes. It’s complicated,” I babble.

The frustration in his eyes seems to burn more recklessly than a wildfire.

“I should have made him suffer more. His death was too quick.”

“Ivan was a good man, Nate. He helped me because we were dating but he wasn’t too involved with them. They were little when I sent them to my mom anyway. The North Shore was too dangerous for them.”

“All I’m hearing is excuses as to why another man was close to them while I was rotting away in prison. You could have told me about them the second you knew I was out.”

“You kidnapped me,” I whisper-yell.

“I had you for weeks. Why didn’t you say anything?”

There’s despair in his voice I’m not used to. It’s a whisper of betrayal, thin and cold, like the bony fingers of death gripping your throat.

“I gave you chances. I asked you why you wanted your freedom back. I told you I wanted to keep you safe. I brought you that picture, knowing perfectly well who they were, and I watched you lie to my face. Fuck, Kayla, that very first day I pointed at your scar and asked what it was. Do you think I’m so stupid I don’t know what a C-section scar looks like? Even before you shot me, I said, is there anything you want to tell me? Because I knew why you were doing it. I was pushing you. I was not giving you what you wanted because I wanted the truth. It never came. You shot me instead.”

I am well aware of the way I’m putting my life at risk as I think over my answer, but I decide to go for it. Because if he wants the truth, I’ll give him the truth.

“You are a psychopath, Nathan.”

His eyes narrow at me, his teeth gritting. He truly hates that word, and I can see it.

“You are a psychopath, and your reactions are unpredictable. There’s bad, but you’re worse. There’s mad, but you’re the maddest. I will never, ever take that kind of risk when it comes to my daughters.”

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