Page 161 of Lawless God

“Yes,” I croak, swallowing roughly.

“Do you understand what will happen if you do it again?” He’s asking like an adult scolding a child gently, but it’s happening after he butchered my finger. The gentleness won’t fix anything now.

“Y-yes.”

“Look at me.” And I realize my eyes are stuck on my hand. I look up, trembling under his dead eyes. “Apologize.”

“I’m sorry.” I don’t even recognize my own voice, it’s so hoarse I can barely make out the words.

“What for?”

“F-for running away and—and taking the rings off.”

He nods, and I’m dying to hear that he forgives me. I want to be in his arms, to hug the man who made me feel so cherished in the last week.

“Can I be in your arms, please?”

I hate myself for asking, for being vulnerable, but I can’t help it. He made me this way.

And I hate him even more when he says, “No. I’m not done with your punishment. You’ll get to touch me when I decide so.”

My shoulders drop, my breath catching in my throat.

“For now, you stay on your knees and don’t move an inch.”

He takes something out of his pocket, and my eyes almost bulge out of my head when I see a syringe. Just like when he sedated me that first time in my bathroom. And right after the wedding.

“No,” I whimper, shaking my head. “Please. I’m coming back with you. D-don’t put me to sleep.”

He wraps a mighty hand around my jaw. “I said don’t move, Kayla.”

“Sorry,” I whisper, hopeless. “Sorry. But please, you don’t have to do this.”

“I can’t trust you,” he says. And I hear it again, that noise that makes it sound like something has broken inside him. It makes me wish I could go back in time to just a few hours ago. I should have told him the truth. The man he was then might have let me go see them. Maybe he would have understood. “Wives who can’t be trusted get sedated. You’ll get some rights back when you can behave.”

He takes the cap off with his teeth, turning his head to the side and spitting it away from us. His hand stays on my jaw, keeping me still. I don’t even dare to try to stop him anyway.

When he pushes the needle in my neck, the liquid burns. It’s weird. It’s like I can taste its bitterness at the back of my throat as it works through my body.

My eyes grow heavy, my body heavier.

“Please,” I hear myself whisper, even though I don’t mean to say the words. “Don’t hurt me. Don’t—don’t break me.”

He shakes his head. I sway to the side, and he catches me, bringing his hands under my armpits and dragging me onto his lap.

“I won’t break you, little sunflower. But it will hurt.”

I try to shake my head once more, but instead, it drops to the side completely, my muscles becoming useless.

“Please,” I plead. It feels like I’m talking in slow motion.

“Only good little captives get rewarded, baby. I thought you understood that.” He sighs, like he hates this situation, even though he’s the one putting me in it. “It seems you didn’t.”

33

KAYLA

Love Into a Weapon - Madalen Duke

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