Page 103 of Lawless God

“He is not the boss!” I shout.

My blood is boiling. He might be keeping me captive here, but he will not take away everything I’ve worked so hard for.

“If the Kings are going to work with NSC under your rule, then I get to lead my crew again.”

“Please,” he snorts.

“Look at me.” Now sitting on the sofa, he looks up at me from the folder he’s opening.

“Yes, little sunflower?” His taunting voice could drive a priest to murder.

“I’m the leader of the Kings. I will be the one telling you if we accept your deal or not.”

He slowly stands, rounding the coffee table to reach me. I keep my head high. Seeing the people who work for me, count on me, has given me a new strength. It fed my fire.

“Kayla,” he purrs, his hand coming to caress my cheek. I keep my arms crossed over my chest, not bothering to push him away. That isn’t the point.

The forced marriage, the kidnapping, I could fucking live with it if it means I can still work with my people, direct them. I will do anything for the Kings to know they can still count on me. Working for my crew means I can get out. It means I can see my girls. It’s all that counts.

“You are not part of the Kings’ Crew anymore, please stick that inside your stubborn mind.”

I am ready to pounce like a lioness.

“You will not take this away from me, Nathan.”

“I already have. You’re not their leader, you’re my wife.”

I open my mouth, but his eyes narrow, his head tilting to the side. Suddenly, he appears taller, stronger. His hand on my cheek turns into a handful of my jaw, his grip holding me still as he walks me backward and slams me against the wall.

Air freezes in my lungs, and I squeeze my eyes shut to swallow the pain.

“My wife isn’t part of a petty gang, do you understand? My wife deserves more than to work under the tough ruling of a criminal organization just so she can survive.”

“I don’t want more,” I squeak. “This is who I am, what I’ve always done. It’s my life.”

“Kayla, you are so incredibly unaware of your worth.” His eyes bounce between mine, unable to grasp how I feel about this. But there’s more, a plea for me to understand his point. “The way you handle the art of war deserves better than for you to focus on Kings’ and NSC’s pathetic issues. That would be a lack of esteem to your intelligence. I won’t let you do that to yourself. You’re owed respect, from everyone, but firstly from yourself.”

A ball tightens in my throat. This…this is hitting too close to my heart.

“I know my worth,” I grit out. “I built it every single time my father knocked me down. I chose what it would be when my mother decided she didn’t love me enough to take me with her. I chose to become the thing she hated the most. I chose to take my father’s place just to prove a point that I was as tough as him. He’s not the one they call the ruthless King. I am.”

He shakes his head, almost disappointed with my behavior.

“This is tragic.” His lips press into a thin line before he crushes everything I ever believed. “Those are the goals and hopes of a little girl so she can grow beyond the abuse. Why did you stop there? Joining your gang because your mom didn’t love you? Taking your dad’s place because you wanted to prove a point? That’s it?”

“I’m not like you!” I yell as my eyes sear into his. “I’m not a fucking psychopathic megalomaniac. I know when to stop! Look at you…building your own army because being at the head of a Cosa Nostra family wasn’t enough for you. You’re turning your back on the Lucianos, on the Rossis. Nothing is ever enough for you. Not destroying the man who raped you, not taking his organization. It wasn’t enough to just kill me for what I did, you have to drag it out. To take me from everything I’ve ever known, to force me to marry you. You’re insane.”

“See. That’s your problem. Your narrow-minded, weak brain thinks I’m insane when I’m unstoppable. I want this pitiful, short-sighted image of the world out of your head. I want you to understand everything you’re capable of. You and I, Kayla, we could rule the world. I will worship every fucking thing you touch. I will burn down your enemies, I will bury anyone who ever made you feel like you weren’t enough, like all you could do was stay in your shitty town and rule your shitty gang. You were made for the greatest things that ever existed. You were made to build your own path, and I want you to be with me when that happens. I want to see you sit on your throne and watch everyone else bow to the goddess you are.”

It's eternally frustrating that his tone stays so balanced when mine grows angrier every time it’s my turn to talk.

“You suddenly got those big ideas of me in your head because I’ve been fighting you back. Because I’m still standing after you tried to crush me, and you think if I can survive the dangerous Nathan White, then I can do anything. But you’re wrong. I am strong, but my place is among my crew,” I rasp. “If you won’t let me go back to them, at least let me lead them from afar. Let me make the decisions I know are the best for them, their safety, and their future.”

Clearly frustrated I’m not accepting his point, his upper lip curls. He wants me to pretend to be someone I’m not. Someone who has more ambitions than I do. I don’t want a husband I can advise on how to rule his empire. I don’t need to go above and beyond my petty gang.

His tone takes a strange, possessive tone. “Your place is here with me.” He presses his lips on my forehead. Hard. Obsessively. “You will be the queen by my side, Kayla. You are worth nothing less than that.”

When he releases me, I’m forced to acknowledge the speed at which my heartbeat races. I’m surprised he can’t see my shirt moving, my chest trembling.

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