Page 133 of Crushed By Love

“How can a mother do that to her baby?”

Her eyes go distant and she glances back at her kids before returning to me. “We had very abusive parents. They’re gone now and I won’t get into the details of what we went through, but I’ll just say it’s a miracle that I didn’t end up like she did. I don’t blame her for finding solace in drugs, though I wish everyday she would’ve chosen something different.”

“Do you think she had an anxiety disorder, too?”

“Undiagnosed, but yes.”

Where would I be now if Aunt Amelia hadn’t gotten me into therapy and working with a good psychiatrist that understands the chemicals in my brain? My own disorder has been hard to manage and that’s with help.

“Now, as for my husband, he has no excuse for his behavior, and if he was still alive, I’d divorce him.”

I let out a scoff. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” her voice is stiff. “He’s put me through enough. This?” She picks up the piece of paper and squeezes it between her fingers. “This is unforgivable.”

“And we’d support you, Mom,” Sybil adds and Hayes nods. They look stricken, like they’re sick to their stomachs, and guilt is written all over their faces.

“But he’s gone and that’s his own fault, too. It’s not your fault, do you hear me?” Amelia drops the paper and squeezes my hands instead. “Falling in love with a King was not your fault. The accident was not your fault. Your upbringing was not your fault. And your mom’s death was not your fault either. You have done nothing wrong.”

She’s saying everything I need to hear but it’s hard to let the words have impact. I’ve been carrying so many what-ifs on my back that they’ve been crippling me, but don’t know how to put them down.

“And the accident wasn’t Ethan’s fault either,” she admits. “I got access into Greg’s emails yesterday and found this exchange last night. First thing this morning, Hayes and I contacted the Massachusetts prosecutors office and recanted our statements. They’ve already dropped the charges against Ethan.”

I sit back with a gasp. This means that Ethan is free, that this whole thing can be put behind him. The media damage can’t be entirely undone though. “And what about his reputation?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll think of something to get the media off their backs. Ethan will be back under golden light soon, I promise.”

I wish I could go to him. If anything, I just want to give him a hug, but Coop made it pretty clear that Ethan and I are over.

“I’m so sorry for everything. I hope you’ll forgive me, that we can be the family we were always meant to be. No more games. No more expectations. You can live your life how you want, love who you want, and do what you need to do. We’re not going to stop you.”

With shaking legs, Amelia helps me stand and we hug. It might just be the best hug of my life. I know she’s not my mother, but for a moment I imagine she is. That doesn’t quite feel right, so I imagine her arms wrapping around my mother, that this is what their hugs must have felt like. That makes me burst into tears all over again, but this time it’s not so sad. This time there’s a silver lining to it all. Because my vow hasn’t changed—I’m going to live my life to its fullest.

“Now can you please stay in Manhattan?” Sybil blurts out.

I laugh but I can’t answer that until I speak with Ethan face to face. If he wants me here, I’ll stay, but if he doesn’t, then my heart needs me in Boston.

Sixty

But Ethan isn’t at his penthouse, so I call Cooper in the cab ride back to Sybil’s place and he tells me Ethan left the city. “He’s been through a lot, Arden. He needed a break from Manhattan and the media frenzy this has all caused, not to mention he needed a break from our father.”

“Do you think he’ll want to see me?”

Cooper’s long pause isn’t a good sign. “Give him space. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

If he’s ever ready.

“Can you at least tell me where he is?”

He hesitates. “Nantucket.”

A bright ray of hope lights me up. If Ethan’s in Nantucket, then he’s not afraid to face what happened. Maybe he’ll face me soon, too.

“How’s the rehabilitation coming along?” I try to change the subject, and I really am interested in how Coop is recovering, but my voice couldn’t sound any more distracted. I just want to see Ethan. I feel like I’ll die if I don’t at least clear the air between us. I don’t expect him to take me back but I don’t want him to hate me either.

“It’s going as well as can be expected. Therapy is a bitch. My prosthetic is even more of a bitch. But my hot nurse is an angel and she’s making me feel better if you know what I mean.”

I laugh and he chuckles right along with me. I’ll always feel terrible for what happened to his leg but I’ll also always thank God that he made it out of that water alive.

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