Page 107 of Shaped By Discovery

The second her skin is against mine, she freezes, and I’m reminded that I’m naked and she’s very close to the same as my cock hardens. There’s no way she doesn’t notice, but I don’t let her go.

Leaning in, I press my lips to the shell of her ear, “Why do I do what, Little Rabbit?” I ask, and I feel her shiver.

My beast presses hard, but I hold him back. I need to talk to her to understand what makes her so mad at me, and I can’t do that while shifted.

“Why do you always put yourself lower than us? We’re supposed to be best friends! We’re family, and you’re my safe space. There isn’t anything you don’t know about me. I trust you with every part of me, even the parts I’m less than thrilled about…” she trails off, but I know what she’s talking about. Her nightmares, her worry that one day we’ll leave her.

“So why does it feel like I don’t know you? You hide pieces of yourself because you’re worried they aren’t convenient. That’s not how friendship works, Blair. You don’t get to hide from me.” I can hear the sadness in her words like it’s a physical thing that reaches out and squeezes my heart.

She’s right. I’d hid my affinity for fire for fear of scaring her after what happened with Harlow. This might not be the same, but it doesn’t have to be. I know that’s what she’s really upset about.

“Little Rabbit,” I say in an attempt to soothe her.

“Don’t, Little Rabbit, me, Blair. I’m serious!” she scolds me, and I chuckle despite knowing it’s a terrible idea.

She spins around to face me faster than she should be able to in the water, breaking my grip on her so that she has to tread water again or risk going under. I wasn’t holding her particularly well, but it’s still a bit of a shock.

Until I look at her face.

Her eyes are black, the same way they were that day I found her alone and afraid in the bathroom. Only this time, she’s mad, and I want us to lean into the shadows. It might help her to use them more like this, but I can’t make myself upset her on purpose, even knowing that.

For once, I find myself wishing Lyle were here. He would have no problems continuing to push her and further piss her off.

Even knowing it might help her, I can’t bring myself to do it. “I know you are, but I’m fine. Not using my fire was my choice, one I would make a thousand times over if I had to. And while my beast might enjoy the water, it’s not as if I’m tethered to it the same way the rest of you are to land. I’m not putting myself below you or the guys. I’m keeping us equal because that’s what family does. We give and take and find ways to help us coexist because we want to. I want to be around you, I want you to feel safe, and I’m sorry if that made you feel as though I lied or hid something from you, but that was never my intention.”

I watch as the shadows recede until I’m once again staring into her bright blue eyes. I reach out, pulling her to me again so she has no choice but to look at me and hear what I’m saying.

“I would choose you any day, in every way, because you are my home. I followed Garrett into a portal to another realm because a life without you wasn’t something I could even consider.”

Her cheeks heat, and she dips her head, but I catch her chin and force her head back up until our eyes meet. I need her to understand this, to see the truth in my words.

Tears pool in her eyes, but don’t fall.

“I don’t want you to regret it,” she says, her voice low, but it doesn’t hide the emotion.

“I would give up everything just to be near you, so don’t ever, for a moment, think I regret my choices. So long as those choices keep me with you, they’re worth it.”

She squeezes her eyes closed, and a single tear rolls down her cheek. When she opens them again, I can see that she understands.

“No more secrets?” she pleads, and it’s such a simple request, but one I can’t give her, at least not right now. Not with her in my arms, damn near naked, in an underground hot spring that I brought her to in an attempt to help, only to have to fight myself off at every turn.

No, some secrets are best kept that way.

“I brought you here to see if we could recreate my beast’s natural state like you used to with Garrett. But in a less, you-might-go-splat kind of way should it fail.” I tell her quickly to avoid her interrupting, but I can see that she isn’t going to let this go for long.

“Take a deep breath.” She does as I say without hesitation, and my beast hisses his approval as we both sink below the surface.

The water is probably around eight feet deep here, so we only need a moment to reach the ground. The stones at the bottom are warm, heated by the earth or someone’s element; either way, they soothe something in me. The water is clearer than anything we had at home, and the crystals light it up enough that we can still see one another.

My chest tightens, but it has nothing to do with the water pressure and everything to do with her. She looks beautiful down here, but then again, she always does. Something about her being here, where my beast is the most at home, does something to it because it takes a lot more effort than it should to focus on what we’re supposed to be doing. Hell, if I had it my way, we would spend the rest of our time just like this so that I could continue to watch her.

We swim for a while. I shift back and forth a few times to see if it makes a difference, but after a few hours, I’m forced to accept this is getting us nowhere. We’ve ventured to the deeper, outermost part of the water. It’s darker here; the crystals on the other side offer less light as you go further out. Serena, for the most part, has given it her very best. I don’t think it's because she isn’t trying, but as we continue to swim, I see her frustration grow when nothing happens.

I can only take her mood declining so much before I give up on making something happen and shift gears to focus on her. I don’t give a shit if she never gets her beast back or gains control of her shadows. I would love her even if she were born without all of it. I know she wants those things, but I won’t let her chase them to the extent of making herself miserable.

“Run, Little Rabbit,” I tell her, leaning close to whisper the words low and husky into her ear.

She hesitates a moment before glancing back at me with a smile and letting her body drop below the surface. Right now, I’m partially shifted, something I’d only tried for the first time today. My torso is my human form, but from the waist down, I’m all beast. Having the two collide like this is strange, but somehow much more comfortable than I would have imagined.

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