Page 57 of Forbidden

That’s when I saw it for the first time, the black and white tattoo on the back of his hand. The fine lines were in the shape of a flower.

A sunflower.

I suppose I’d seen it before, but I hadn’t given any meaning to it until this moment. Until I connected it to the nickname he’d given me.

“Vander?” My heart was in my stomach now. “How long have you had that tattoo?”

He stared at me for a beat, and I felt like he could see into my mind. Like he was examining all the cracks and scars. And for once, it didn’t make me feel empty. It was like his intense gaze filled them up. Patched my shattered pieces back together.

“A long time, Sunflower.”

29

Grace

“Oh, no.” I saw the time on Vander’s watch as he reached for the check, and my stomach soured. “I’m late.”

After walking through the entire house and planning where all our furniture would go, new furniture because we didn’t need the old memories, he’d taken me to lunch. Despite the emotionally heavy day, spending time with Vander was easy.

It had been fun looking towards a future I wanted. I’d spent most of my life wondering if I even wanted a future. If it wouldn’t just be easier to let one of Mitchell’s rages kill me.

Now, they were like a distant memory. Almost as if they’d happened to someone else. Or it would feel that way if the evidence wasn’t still on my skin.

“More dance class?” Vander smiled as he took his card back from the waiter.

The butterflies erupted in my stomach again, but they weren’t the good ones. They were frantic. I was about to ruin what would have been a perfect day.

“Actually, I have an appointment.” I avoided his gaze as we stood and headed out the door. The sun was warm on my skin, but inside I felt cold. “If you could drop me off.”

“Where?” I knew he’d ask. He was too protective.

I swallowed down my fears. Vander wouldn’t hurt me. I knew that now. But I still struggled to push the words out.

“The fertility clinic.” I raised my gaze to him, and I watched it happen. He turned hard.

His jaw tightened. His lips flattened. His eyes went empty. He yanked the car door open with more force than necessary.

Vander’s attitude didn’t change even after I gave him the address. My skin itched as we drove in silence. Guilt built inside me. It was like a rash growing and clinging to me.

We had fun last night and today. Every day since we’d been married had been better than the one before.

But nothing mattered more to me than having a baby. He hadn’t tried to make that happen with me. And I didn’t know how to ask.

This was easier. Safer. He was still Mitchell’s brother. He could still change.

I winced at the thought, and the guilt grew. That wasn’t fair to him. But when we reached the clinic, I still didn’t know what to say.

“Call Mike to pick you up.” He looked at me, but the warmth was gone. The excitement vanished.

“Vander…” But his name just hung there in the air, and eventually, he filled the silence.

“I’ll see you at the penthouse.”

Guilt was slick in my stomach as I stood on the sidewalk, watching him drive away. It was an unfamiliar emotion for me. I was used to being the one who was hurt, not the one doing the hurting.

* * *

When I walked out of the clinic an hour later, I was still feeling bad. Worse. An hour of getting my blood drawn, my vagina examined, and having a doctor drone on and on in my ear, but all I could think about was Vander.

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