Page 34 of Midnight Salvation

I met them at the safe house on Lincoln Street before they went to stay with a trusted friend of Ma’s just over the state line. She lives in an area untouched by anyone who could even remotely consider us an enemy.

Hunter’s smile as he raced toward me a few days ago flashes before my eyes. The way he jumped into my arms and squeezed me as tight as he could. The relief I experienced was so goddamn potent, I still feel little ripples even now.

I’ve never really considered myself a nihilist, but I had somehow convinced myself that I’m not worthy of good things. And this, this felt like a deserving punishment, too harsh for me to bear.

Because if I don’t have Hunter—I shake my head, scattering those thoughts away. It doesn’t do me any good to dwell on them now. The fact is that Hunter’s safe.

So I’ve spent the last several days keeping busy. Idle hands and all that.

But if it’s not Ma, then it’s probably Reaper-related. Which, fine, a lot of the guys go to Nova for shit because he’s always been the mouthpiece. It’s never bothered me much before, so I don’t know why I’m annoyed by it right now.

The air around him shifts, and I’m walking toward him before I even give myself permission to. I stop in front of him, straining my hearing to discern who’s on the call or what they’re saying. But that asshole has his volume too low for me to make out anything.

"We're on the way."

“What’s going on?”

“Well, you know what they say: curiosity killed the cat.” He slips his phone back into his pocket and stalks toward the end of the pier.

It happens so quickly, I don’t even have time to protest before Nova shoves the zip-tied Savage. Gravity and momentum are on my brother’s side, and the asshole flops into the lake. He yelps, but it’s quickly drowned out by the splash and gurgle of the lake swallowing him whole.

"What the fuck, Nova?" I stalk toward him, wrath circling my wrists like shackles. "We fucking needed him."

“He doesn’t know shit. And if he did, he wasn’t going to give us anything. We’re done with him.” He dismisses my worry with a wave of his hand and starts walking toward the shore.

I throw my arm out wide and stare at my brother's back. "The fuck we are! He was our only lead!"

“Today,” he calls over his shoulder.

“What?” My brows furrow and my hands curl into fists as irritation prickles across the back of my head.

“He was our only lead for today.” He emphasizes the word like I don’t already fucking know he’s been slowly and methodically taking out every Savage and Hound he can get his hands on. And all with a fucking cheery disposition too.

I look over the side of the pier, willing my eyes to see beyond the murky depths. But Whispering Pines is an efficient partner, and there’s no sign of the Savage Soul.

“We don’t need him. Let’s go.” The wooden pier groans as my brother jogs toward the shore, jumping over the rotten planks and skirting around the missing ones.

I grind my teeth and remind myself for the millionth time not to snap on him. It’s not really him, anyways. It’s everyone. It’s this day and yesterday and the day before that, and every person and every thing. It’s this fucking town. And it’s this fucking sunshine that just won’t quit.

I don’t know why, but I had some misguided notion that the weather should be as turbulent as I feel inside.

And then a healthy dose of guilt washes all of my self-indignation away, as if I have any right to these foreign emotions swirling inside me like a storm.

The rollercoaster of emotions that I’ve experienced in the last several days makes me feel like I’m actually losing my mind, like I’m trapped in some alternate version of the movie Groundhog Day. Only instead of waking up to the same day over and over, I’m experiencing the same cycle of emotions, just tumbling one after the other in an endless repetition.

Fear, sadness, shame, so much fucking shame. I don’t feel deserving of Evangeline’s sacrifice. I hate myself a little every time I feel relief that Hunter and Ma are safe, because that means in this situation Evangeline is not.

I was a fool to ever think that we didn’t live in a world of mutual exclusions.

I jog after my brother, watching my steps, and once again, adding the pier to my mental to-do list. I’ll probably come back out here tomorrow just to give myself something to do.

The three of us are doing our best to protect the club and each other while exorcizing our demons and planning for what’s to come. There’s no part of me that believes this is the last we’ll see of the Hounds or Savages, especially not when Evangeline is still gone.

“Jesus, would you slow down already?” I pitch my voice loud enough for Nova to hear. He’s halfway up the lopsided cement staircase built into the side of the sloped hill.

“Hurry up, asshole,” he shouts over his shoulder. “Or I’m leaving without you.”

I grind my teeth at his back and remind myself that it’s not personal, he’s just dealing with his shit the only way he knows how.

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