Page 48 of Gilded Princess

I fiddle with the comforter, brushing the fabric between two fingers. “Okay. Matteo said you’re safe, but I want to hear it from you. Do you feel safe wherever you are?”

She laughs, and it’s so far from the carefree laugh she used to have that I flinch.

“Sure, Maddie. My sister got kidnapped, my cousin’s into dangerous shit now, and I stupidly gave personal information to some stalker. Yeah, I feel safe now.”

Panic grips me by the throat, and I force the words past tight lips. “I don’t understand. Can you start from the beginning? Let me help you.”

She exhales. “I don’t even know where to begin. I messed up, Maddie. But we’re not little kids anymore, and you can’t fix me, okay? So, just stop—just stop trying to fix everything all the time.”

Tears prick my eyes at her dismissal of me. “I’m not trying to fix you. I just want to help.”

“Well, I don’t want your help, sister.”

I roll my lips inward and nod, not that she can see me right now. “Okay. You, uh, stay safe. And I’ll see you soon, I guess.”

“Bye.” She ends the phone call without another word.

I stare at my phone for a moment, wondering how the hell everything got so turned upside down.

Chapter Eighteen

MADDIE

“Can I ask you something?” I don’t look at Dante as I ask him. Instead, I pop a kernel of popcorn in my mouth and chew it with slow bites.

I feel his eyes on me, but I keep my focus on the giant projection TV in front of us. There’s an eighties movie marathon playing this weekend, and Chunk just got left in the freezer with the stiff, as he calls him. I remember when I was terrified that I’d get locked in a freezer with a dead body for a month after I first watched this movie. We were too young, but Mom’s boyfriend at the time put it on when he was supposed to be watching us while she recovered from some cosmetic procedure.

“Sure.”

“What do you think happens when you die?”

He doesn’t answer me, but I can feel the intensity of his gaze on my face. I imagine what I must look like to him. This girl who he’s never met is suddenly everywhere all the time. In his home and on his couch and in his life twenty-four-seven, if Matteo is to be believed.

“Why do you ask?”

I resist the urge to smooth back my hair, freshen my appearance as I debate how to reply. It’s almost an unconscious tic I have, instilled by my mother and reinforced by my classmates.

I still wonder how Lainey and Mary both escaped St. Rita’s seemingly unscathed. In some ways, I’ve always been envious of them. Neither one cared much about gossip or the trendiest fashion or maintaining any sort of relationships—fake or otherwise. Both of them are always content to do their own thing.

Lainey’s always been busy. I think it was her way of coping with life, and somewhere along the way, it morphed into her personality. She was more likely to be working or volunteering, which is something so many of our classmates turn up their noses at.

And Mary was always in the library, studying the days and nights away. And maybe initially, it was a habit born from fear of failure, but I think it turned into her refuge.

She was convinced that if she didn’t study so hard, she’d fail school. But she’s always been good at it—a natural, Mom says. I don’t think she ever received anything less than an A. On anything. Ever.

And me?

What do I do? What’s my thing?

I sigh, my soul feeling the exhalation just as much as my lungs.

I’m nothing like them, not really. I’m not as smart as Mary—and I’m definitely not that good at school. And I’m not as naturally charismatic as Lainey. She doesn’t see it, but people flock to her just to be in her proximity. I mean, Jesus, she has three guys vying for her affection right now. Three!

And I can’t seem to snag one.

My mind involuntarily conjures three very different smirks. Three very different men who have all affected me in ways I haven’t experienced before.

Okay, so maybe I can capture someone’s attention, but I can’t keep it. Or them.

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