Page 134 of The Summer of Wild

"You're not supposed to," I raise my eyebrows. "It's for me. Not for anyone else."

"That's dumb," Cash mutters as Wilder takes the keys from me. We decided it would be best that Wilder drive, Cash sit in the front seat, and I take the back. Less awkwardness that way.

The drive to the creek is quiet until Cash decides to plug his cell phone in and play Smashing Trout.

When Wilder sings along to one of the songs, Cash's mouth drops open. "You know this one?"

Wilder hitches a shoulder. "Blondie forced me to go to a concert this summer. I learned a few songs before we went."

"What did you two not do this summer?" Cash gapes at Wilder's profile.

I hide a smile, realizing Wilder and I did more this summer than we bargained for. We got tattoos, went to a concert, dined at the country club, played a round of golf, made an adult film, sent nudes, jumped out of the tree at the creek, snuck into the movie theatre, skinny-dipped at the lake, and fell in love.

"We didn't get to hang out with you," Wilder smartly replies. "I think that's really how we both saw our summer going."

Cash nods slightly.

"Tell us about Europe," I interject. "What was your favorite touristy spot?"

"You guys don't want to hear about—"

"We do," Wilder reaffirms. "Tells us everything."

Cash launches into a play-by-play of his European backpacking trip. He details the conditions of the hostels he stayed in, and the few friends he made along the way, but he fails to tell us which destination was his favorite. It's then that I realize Cash never went to Europe looking for culture or adventure. He was looking for connection.

"We're glad you're back," I offer from the back seat.

"You'll never guess what Blondie did at the creek this summer," Wilder winks at me in the rearview mirror.

"She finally went for a swim?" Cash looks over his shoulder, teasing me.

"Nope," I grin. "I jumped out of the tree."

Cash gives me a small smile. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"I didn't either," I answer. "But Wilder knew I could do it."

"Sounds like you've turned over a new leaf," Cash gives me a sad smile.

I don't know what to say after that, so I stay quiet in the back seat.

Wilder parks, and we climb out of my car. The sun is still high in the sky, but the shady oak trees shelter us from the harsh rays of light.

I lay a towel on the rock and make myself comfortable as the boys run and jump into the cold creek water. There's a part of me that's grateful Cash isn't punishing Wilder and me. But there's another part of me that knows he hasn't fully processed it yet. He has so much going on. Fanny is livid with him for turning her in. Archibald is distancing himself from Fanny and Cash because he doesn't want to become embroiled in their drama. Then, there's Wilder and me. I used to think Wilder had it bad, but Cash has problems we never even knew about.

And he's carried most of them alone.

I lay on my stomach, watching as Cash and Wilder cannonball into the creek. It feels like old times but I know we'll never go back to where we were at the beginning of the summer. Life has shifted and altered so much that finding a new normal will take time and patience.

I don't expect Cash to always be willing to spend time with us, but I'm glad he knows we want to. We still want him around, even if it's uncomfortable.

"You look deep in thought," Cash frowns as he grabs a towel from my bag.

"Just thinking about old times."

"Did you always like Wilder?" Cash asks, surprising me. "Or was it more recent that you started having feelings for him?"

I smack my lips together, buying time. "I think a part of me always liked him, but I didn't realize how much until you were gone."

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