Page 107 of The Summer of Wild
Cash drops my hand and brushes past Wilder. But Wilder stands rooted in place, his eyes locked on mine.
My eyes prick with tears as I stare at him. An hour ago, I was lying in his arms as he kissed me beneath the shade trees at the creek. Strangers. That's what he's acting like we are now.
"I'm..." I trail off, not knowing what to say.
"Go home, Blondie."
Tears spill out of my eyes as I nod. "I guess I'll see you around."
Wilder takes a step forward and quickly shuts the door behind him. He reaches for my forearm and runs his fingers over the lightning bolt tattoo on my wrist. "Thank you."
"For?" I glance up at him through a haze of tears.
"This," he says as his thumb presses lightly over the tattoo.
I let out a heavy breath before pulling my hand out of his grasp. I leave him standing on his front porch and make my way home.
Cash is back now, which means Wilder, and I are over.
One door is closing while the other is reopening.
The problem is that I want what's behind that closing door, knowing it'll never be mine again.
Chapter 28
The Obnoxious Snorer
Wilder
Cash is sleeping on my floor, his obnoxious snoring keeping me awake. I grab my phone and stare at the time. 3:31 am. At least tomorrow—er, today—is Sunday. I can sleep in.
I take a breath and wince. Every time I breathe in, my heart stings and spasms.
Blondie can find her way home.
Go home, Blondie.
I didn't think breaking her heart would mean breaking my own. But I think that's what I've done.
I toss and turn, shoving another pillow under my head. I'm restless. I've never been this restless before.
All I can think about is Ingrid. I'm not sure when she stopped being Blondie for me. Maybe when I walked in on her recording herself naked. Something happened that day and it changed everything. She's not some nickname anymore. She's Ingrid.
She's Cash's Ingrid.
I wince from the pain again, wishing I could ignore it. Push it away. Pretend long enough to trick my heart into actually believing I feel nothing for her.
Instead, I'm in physical pain. The kind of pain I felt when my dad left. Almost as if a piece of myself has been torn off, and I have to learn how to live without it.
This is all my fault. I knew this would happen. I knew Cash would come back for her. Despite how shitty he's treated her over the years, I know he's never loved anyone like he loves her. That's not an excuse for breaking up with her and ditching her for the summer. It's just a fact.
Cash Allred might be a nice guy, but he's still an Allred. And the Allreds always get what they want in the end.
I should stay out of his way and let him win. I should do that. The thing is, if I can't have Ingrid, then I don't think he should either.
Another loud snore echoes through my room, rattling the windows. I grab one of the pillows I'm propped up on and propel it at Cash's big head.
"What was that for?" he groans loudly.
