Page 13 of Saved By the Rockstar Daddy

Better me than my brother or one of the others. I was able to save then a few benders and put my best foot forward so that they might have a good night’s sleep here and there.

And the kicker is, they don’t even know it. They think this is me, that I want this. That I choose this.

As if I ever…

And I am so tired of pretending…

I want to be more than what they made of me. I want to be better.

Seeing Lucy reminded me of when things were different.

Life was easier back then. I got to write songs with Ares. I got to perform them in small venues where I could actually see the audience and get a real idea of what they thought of my songs.

Lucy was good for me too. She was my rock back then. My girl. She kept me sane and levelheaded.

I wish my ghosts would shut up. I wish the label would let me be me.

I don’t want to keep drinking and keep making a fucking fool of myself for anyone. I deserve to have a normal life, just like everyone else does. I deserve to have a woman to love. A woman who loves me for being me.

Lucy Bennett is the only woman I have ever loved.

Will I ever find that kind of love again?

God, I hope so.

But first, I need to apologize to Lucy for being a dick for the past four years.

She deserved more from me. She deserves the world.

I need her to forgive me. We both need closure.

And just for a second, I allow myself to dream of a world where Lucy and I are thrown back into each other’s path by a universe that wants us to be together.

I adored her once. I lived and breathed that girl back then.

I’ll be here in town for a while. Why not try to at least get her friendship back?

She used to be Ares best friend too, even before we got together. And maybe we can at least have a beautiful friendship back.

Hell, being with her might even inspire me to write more songs. Not the hard rock songs we sing in Shakedown. But the songs I used to sing when it was all about the music and not about glamour and fame.

Real songs, the kind that touch the heart and inspire the soul.

That’s what I used to write. All because Lucy Bennett made my heart happy.

Ty is going to be mad. But I don’t care. I have to get a hold of myself.

If Mom were still alive, she would have kicked my ass by now.

She’d loved Lucy. They got along great.

I should’ve married that girl when I had the chance.

Of course, I wouldn’t have become the rockstar that I am now. But is being ‘Lo’ now such a great thing? I love music and I love the fans, but I lost myself long the way. I lost Apollo. The Apollo I had been years ago. With Lucy.

I had a couple of weeks in town, so maybe I could find Lucy, and spend some time with her.

Yes, she left me last night at the concert, but she’d said she needed to go, hadn’t she? I just didn’t want to listen, too happy that she was really there with me.

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