Page 205 of Avenging Angel

“We have private, corporate and government clients. And I’m sorry, Raye, the investigative work we do is all strictly confidential.” He let go of his mug with one hand to reach out with his other and take mine. “I can’t talk about it, ever. It’s part of the gig.”

“You told me Elsie Fay’s grandparents hired you.”

“I did that because I knew you were going to be there when we told the cops the same thing. Though, I also did it because it was pertinent to the situation, and I didn’t have much choice. In the end, it was going to be necessary information for the police to know so they understood why we were there. And there might be other instances like that. Some of the shit we do gets in the papers.”

Oh, I’d noticed that.

“But for the most part, we try to operate under radar and keep our work under wraps,” he went on. “That said, you need to know it isn’t a nine to five job, I get callouts like last night, though, those are infrequent. The team working a case tends to be the team that can deal with the case. But we absolutely take each other’s backs. You need to know, that means I could be working late hours on my own cases.”

“Okay,” I replied.

He paused a second to ascertain I’d taken that in.

Then he kept going.

“And you know I started interning with NI when I was fifteen. They didn’t involve us seriously when we were that young, but they knew we were interested in joining the team when we were old enough, so the longer we were around, the more they taught us. Then the Army taught me even more. The years of experience Lee, Mace, Luke, Vance and the rest have ratchets up into the hundreds. In other words, they know what they’re doing, and along the way, they taught us that. They also are very thorough in how they curate their teams. We understand the job in an integral way, and we have each other’s backs. This isn’t about thrill-seeking and taking risks to get off. This is about getting the job done and getting home safe.”

“So, it’s not just catching cheaters cheating,” I murmured.

He gave my hand a squeeze. “They got mortgages and mouths to feed, and the desire to live a good life and retire to better, so we take cases to pay the bills. So yes, we do that. But no, it’s not just shit like that. And I’ll admit, some of the shit we do can be dangerous, but that isn’t our day to day. What I’m trying to impress on you is, when it happens, we have the skills to handle it.”

“All right.”

He studied me a beat before asking, “What are you thinking?”

“I believe you when you say it isn’t about thrill-seeking and taking risks, but I’m sensing the risks are still there. It’s not your average job. And after what you said to me yesterday, I’m wondering about your motivations for doing it. Because that kind of work draws a certain kind of person, and it has to bea littleabout thrill-seeking and taking risks.”

He nodded. “I’ll grant that. And yeah, that’s a valid observation. What I mean is, we don’t do stupid shit out in the field. But that’s what I knew on the streets, Raye. Survival. Making it so I woke up the next day. It just wove into the fabric of who I was.”

As much as I hated that he’d experienced that, he spoke sense, and there was probably no way around it happening for him.

He continued, “Then Roam and me saw the Nightingale men in action, and it was just done. I get that’s because I wanted to learn how to be able to take care of myself as well as live a life where I commanded respect. A life where no one would shit on me or underestimate me. I totally get that. But the bottom line, every day is different, and I always gotta stay primed to use my brain and my body. If I didn’t do what I do, I’d be a cop or still in the Army.” He smiled. “But this way, I make a fuck ton more money, and I get to work with men who, most of them, I’ve known half my life, and I consider them brothers.”

“And once in a while, you get to do things like find Elsie Fay,” I stated.

He nodded. “And once in a while, job satisfaction goes off the charts with shit like that,” he affirmed.

“There are people who experienced what you experienced, who, if they had the chance, would be glad to put that behind them and be a banker, Cap. So maybe it also has to do with it being who you were meant to be.”

His lips tipped up, he shook his head, and then he shared, “On the streets of Denver, I was known as Sniff.”

I was confused. “Sniff?”

“I was a runt.”

I hated he talked about himself like that, so I started, “Cap?—”

“I’m not the first guy who had his growth spurt late and suffered from acne, Raye. It was what it was. And when Park met me, I was skinny and weak and my nose was always running, so he called me Sniff. He was a good-lookin’ kid, all the girls liked him. Him and Roam. They were cool, they’d been on the streets longer than me, and I looked up to them. I was a goof. I ran my mouth a lot. Now I know I did this because I’d lived a life with a mother who didn’t give a shit what I had to say. And when I was around people who did, it just all came out.”

It was me squeezing his hand at that.

Cap carried on.

“Because of this, I get another part of my motivation is, I don’t ever want to be that kid again. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t met Park and Roam, but I’d seen enough boys like me who got used in ways they hated just so they could eat. Park and Roam, and then Jules, saved me from that. I owe that to them. But for me, it’s a constant drive to put that kid behind me.”

“You aren’t that kid anymore, honey,” I said gently.

“I know that, baby.” He gave me gentle right back. “But we can’t escape our pasts, so we have to find a way to use them to our advantage, and that means the good and the bad. I use what I was given to keep striving to be stronger and smarter. I use how I see the men with their women in what I give to you. The key is to make it all work for you.”

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