Page 71 of Love Collided

“I think you are overestimating how men think about me. I’m one of the guys, not a girl they might actually like.”

“What does that mean?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I hate being ‘one of the guys.’ We have come to race night for what feels like most of my life. The guys are 4 years older than me, so as soon as we could get rides out here, we came. We all lived on that street together. If one of us had a car, everyone did. Then when they got cars, we never missed a night. Ten years of my life, and every time I’m just one of the guys.”

“And that’s bad?” He asked, the question genuine.

“It is when you get crushes. When you like one of them and they don’t see you as anything more than a little sister or ‘one of the guys.’ Sometimes I just want to scream that those things aren’t the only thing about me. That I do like this stuff, but I’m also a girl, and I like being treated like a girl.”

He laughed, and I scowled. “Wow, thanks for laughing at me. Do you know the first time I wore a dress to school I was made fun of by the guy I liked? And you know what? That’s who you remind me of right now.”

“I remind you of a crush you had? Interesting.” His hand moved along the car until it was moving up my shirt to my lower back. “I like to know that I actually am your type.”

“You know what? Forget it. There’s no point in talking to you about this.”

I went to get up, but he grabbed my waist, pulling me back against the car next to him.

“I was laughing because I don’t think you understand the role you are playing in all of this happening to you.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault.”

“Not exactly, but who you are when you walk around here is different from who you are when you’re calm and safe, with the crew at home or at the garage.”

“Okay, what doesthatmean?”

“You walk around here like a queen, Scout. Strong and head held high. I mean, fuck, the night we met you looked ready to fist fight me without a second thought. It was obviously adorable, but also intimidating. There was no part of you that worried about going toe to toe with me. And then, your army was quick to your side. I think most men are going to run from that. Your edges are not soft here. Your guard is up and you are ready for a challenge, not a date. And as for one of the guys, I would assume that they are either intimidated, scared of your army of brothers, or worried you aren’t interested.”

“I feel like this is a long-winded speech all to tell me that I’m great, but that I am one of the guys, and it’s my fault.”

“No, I just think you need to see yourself in your environment. And it’s not a fault, it’s who you want to be. When we’re hanging out at the apartments or garage, you aren’t on guard. You aremostlyall sweet, funny, and relaxed, at least to everyone else. You know you are safe and it shows. Men would approach that girl in seconds, and I doubt you would like that here at the races. This isn’t a problem of you being feminine enough or not. This is a girl who is determined to race and win when she’s here, not worry about men hitting on her. It’s okay to be like that, but if you wanted to come get a date, you could.”

“And what about the guy I liked who made fun of me in my dress all those years ago?”

Chase shrugged. “You’re talking about a young high school boy with a pretty girl in front of him, I highly doubt you were the only girl he fumbled a chance on.”

“Hmm.”

“Also, do you know that every single one of your brothers has told me to stay away from you? I know that I’m not good enough in their eyes, but I’m assuming they give those threats to most men who have an interest in you.”

“Which is just rude.”

“Sure, but it also sorts out the ones who are going to do anything for you. Which, I assume, after being around four men who would die for you, you would be looking for that sort of thing in a man.”

I smirked, looking over at the crew, who were circled around talking to a few other people that were racing tonight. “It wasn’t exactly something I had on a checklist for someone to date, but yeah, I guess something like that would be preferred, although I’m not out trying to get someone killed. Interesting how kind and smart you are when you want to be.”

“It can be our secret.”

“Why? You’re cocky and rude and quiet with everyone. Why not act this way?”

“The same reason you are not sweet and soft to everyone. I don’t want to be.”

“I guess you are a bit nicer when you’re hanging out with the crew.”

“A bit? Compare that side of me to the one you met at my party. I’m a hell of a lot nicer.”

“Why?”

“The exact reason I’ve been explaining to you. We are different people in different environments sometimes. It can be a good thing like it is for you or a bad thing like it is for me.”

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