“…so what? You are trying to fuck him? One new guy comes around and you can’t control yourself? I knew it! I knew you wanted all those guys, and this proves it.”
There had been so many times in my life I had been angry.
So many times I wanted to tell my dad off, fight people at school, punch and hit until my knuckles bled.
There had only been a few times I had actually acted on it, though, being told from a young age to bury every emotion I had.
This wasn’t going to be one of those times I buried it, though.
I passed Scout, not listening to anything else Jesse had to say as I punched him in the face.
THIRTEEN
SCOUT
I didn’t seeChase at first. My brain was trying to catch up with every nasty thing Jesse was throwing at me. I had missed the noise behind me until Chase was a blur going past me.
Blood splattered across the ground, Chase’s fist connecting with Jesse’s nose. I stayed frozen, wondering if the rings Chase wore made it hurt worse.
Jesse had been standing there, looking me right in the eye and telling me horrible things about myself. Every bad thought I had about myself being verbalized. And I froze, letting it all seep in because it didn’t matter who was saying the terrible things, it mattered that it was all said. The words were out in the world and it felt like everyone could hear. I should have punched him, or at least yelled back, but all I could think of was the ‘maybes’.
Maybe it was me, maybe I was the problem. Maybe I was bad in bed, so that’s why he had to go sleep with other people. Maybe I wasn’t good enough to be a girlfriend. Maybe he was right and I should have been the ‘cool’ girlfriend that I apparently made people think I would be.
Jesse was doubled over, grabbing his nose and trying to stand up straight without his nose gushing more blood.
Chase stepped to my side, and they kept yelling. I was trying to pay attention, but my mind kept going back to what he said.
Apparently, there wasn’t any more time to think about what he said because Jesse hurled a can of beer at Chase. It missed him, though, and instead hit me square in the chest.
Beer spilled down my chest, soaking my shirt and making me gag at the foul smell.
“Shit, Scout, that was meant for him. Are you okay?”
Chase stepped between us, his face murderous when Jesse tried to get closer.
“Move. She needs help,” Jesse said.
“Yeah, and it sure as hell isn’t coming from you. Get the fuck out of here.”
“She’s my girlfriend, you dumb fucking rich boy.”
“And if you touch her, I might actually kill you.”
“You don’t have a chance with her, so move on.”
“No,” I said, loud enough that they both turned.
“No, what, Scout?” Chase asked, the edge to his voice only giving me more confidence.
“I mean, no Jesse, I’m not your girlfriend anymore. How dare you even think that would be a possibility after what you said to me? And how dare you treat me like you have been? I don’t think I’ve been your girlfriend for a while now, but now it’s officially done.”
“Are you seriously breaking up with me because of this guy?”
“No, I’m breaking up with you because of you. Because I know there’s better and I’m finally done trying to convince myself that you are better.”
“Better than what? Him?”
“No. No, not even better than him, just better. The bar I set for you was even lower than the one I set for him, and you still managed not to hit it. The only reason you can be mad at him is for pointing it out.”