“Rondeau,” Stephanie pointed to the jacket that was on Tully’s mind. “Maybe if this goes well, you guys will end up dating for real. It would be nice to enjoy the guy you date for once.”
Tully scoffed at the absurdity of the suggestion. “Oh, come on. That will never happen.”
“Who knows? He seems to enjoy your company.”
“Iknow. He tolerates me for his grades. I’m so not his type.”
“How do you know?”
Because he’s way out of my league, and you know it, is what she wants to say. But she doesn’t, because Stephanie will give her some long lecture and they are already almost at the gym. She and Nathan would never work, and she knows Stephanie is joking, but it’s the truth. Plus, she has no interest in him beyond a business partner of sorts. “It’s obvious.”
“I think you’re forgetting something very important,” she caught Tully’s eye. “You told me yourself that that kiss did not go unreciprocated.”
Tully had, in fact,notforgotten about that. But she’d like to. It was an error fueled by alcohol and a lapse in judgment. There was nothing behind it though. No feelings, no attraction. Just stupidity. Nathan was responding how any normal teenage boy would if a girl threw themselves at him the way she did. “You know I only did that to get back at Joliet and those sorts of things don’t mean anything to him. You’re making something out of nothing.”
“Maybeyou’remaking nothing out of something,” Stephanie muttered it under her breath, but they were already in the gym and the conversation was cut short. The sound of students chattering echoed off the high concrete walls and glossy basketball court.
Luckily, this was where she and Stephanie broke away from one another and separated to go to their respective sections. Tully with the normal students, and Stephanie to her spot in the color guard, where her flag awaited.
Her mood was spoiled. She sat at the very back of the bleachers and tried to blend into the background of poorly hand-drawn signs. Unfortunately, that wasn’t easy to do when she was wearing that eye-catching purple jacket. The people she sat next to glanced at her a few times, but if they were talking about her she couldn’t hear them over the volume of the rest of the students excitedly meeting up with their friends.
They were probably remarking that it was strange she was sitting in the back, rather than in the front row where the other team girlfriends often took their spot to ensure that their boyfriends saw them as soon as they came running out to greet the crowd. That was kind of the point though. She didn’t want to be front and center for this.
The talking turned into cheers as the cheer squad came out with their pom-poms shaking in the air. The band began to play some catchy tune while the color guard troupe swung their flags to the beat. People clapped and whooped as one of the cheerleaders did a cartwheel and twisted into a flip. Joliet was right in the front, one hand on her hip and the other waving as she grinned and hopped so her blonde ponytail swung in circles in the air.
Instinctively, Tully slouched back and raised her shoulders to try and disappear from her sister’s eyes. She’d spent years trying to prevent Joliet from ever really noticing her, so hiding away was like breathing to her now.
Joliet kicked a leg up, pressed one hand to her lips, and blew a kiss to the audience—basking in the spotlight with all the confidence in the world.
Tully paused.
She wasn’t sure what it was about that. Something about the way Joliet’s chin raised with her shoulders confidently held back grated against Tully’s nerves. There was her sister, shining so bright, looking so pretty and perfect, while Tully felt the need to hide in these bleachers so no one could see her.
Why did she feel that way? Why did she want to hide so much?
Wasn’t it because that’s what Joliet told her to do her entire life? That no one wanted to see someone like her, and that the world would be better off if she wasn’t there?
Tully had forgotten something important—Nathan had offered her a very valuable gift when he proposed this deal.
The upper hand.
For once, she actually had it.
Tully took a deep breath and adjusted the jacket on her shoulders. She straightened her back and stood up.
The people around her paused to watch her as she walked down the bleachers to the front row.
Joliet didn’t notice her at first, too busy doing some cheer, but when she did there was a split second that her pom-poms stopped wiggling and the smile on her face froze. Four other girlfriends sat in the front row with their friends, but there was room for one more. Tully took it and paid their stares no mind. She was more focused on someone else.
Joliet’s eyes flickered up and down from Tully’s face to the jacket she wore.
In the back of her mind, she heard Nathan’s voice instructing her:smile.
Tully smiled. Not the way she smiles at Nathan—love-struck and bright—but with a tilted head and her lips curved to mirror what Joliet always said to her with no words:look what I have and you don’t.
Joliet looked away.
The basketball team came out and Tully exhaled, but she kept her posture because if she dropped it now, everyone would see. She’d relied on Nathan to carry this act for her, it was time she pulled some of her own weight.