Page 7 of A Different Kind of Hooker

Brushing off the failure, I grinned, doing my best to remain positive. I’d known that this wasn’t going to be easy, so I needed to keep choosing perseverance over self-pity. Plus, it wasn’t like I was stuck in this failure; I could always try something else. In fact, I could even change my channel to showcase attempts at something new, rather than something solitary.

Taking in a deep breath, I continued to smile into the camera. “So, maybe baking isn’t my strong suit,” I admitted. “However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t try something new next week. The beautiful thing about life is that we don’t have to remain stuck in one position, right? As soon as you learn the freedom of not caring what other people think about your successes or failures, a whole new world opens up, and that’s when we realize that anything’s possible.”

I looked back down at the mess on the counter. “Maybe I could have guest stars,” I muttered, though I didn’t know anyone famous or crazy enough to even want to be on my channel. I mean, I had five freakin’ viewers. Who wanted to waste their time with that?

Shaking that crazy thought from my head, I grinned back at the camera. “As always, you can stick around and watch me clean up, or you can say goodnight.” I gestured towards the cake. “Since this cake is actually edible, I will be getting rid of the awful design, frosting it like a normal person, then taking it to work with me tomorrow. Nothing brightens up the workplace like free sweets, right?”

Without another word, I scraped my attempt off the top of the cake, then iced it like normal; no design, no fancy coloring, no anything. When I was done, it was slathered in plain white buttercream frosting, and it was a good thing that I didn’t have a sweet tooth. My hips and ass did not need me addicted to sugar. It was bad enough that I had a weakness for salt, I didn’t need to add diabetes to my list of future health problems waiting to happen.

After wrapping the cake up in tin foil, I grinned back at the camera and saw that one person was still signed in, and they were probably only tuning in to see if I was going to mess anything else up. I knew that sounded super self-depreciating, but there was no shortage of horrible people in the world. Lots of people fed off the misery and failures of others, so there was no telling why someone would want to watch me clean up another disaster.

Placing another grin on my face, I said, “Well, thank you for sticking this out with me, and I will see you next week.”

I walked over, then turned off the camera, dropping my head in pure exhaustion. I needed to find something else to try my hand at, that was obvious. I had underestimated the talent that it took to really create baking marvels, and I kind of felt like I needed to tip my local baker now. Suddenly, I understood why wedding cakes were so damn expensive; theyshouldbe.

Heading to my bedroom, as soon as I walked in, I started removing my clothes for a much-needed shower. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t manage my episodes without making a mess. Even without any baking this time around, I had still managed to make a mess with the frosting. The entire thing blew my mind because I wasn’t a messy person. My organizational skills were legendary at work. I wasn’t a clutter bug or anything like that, so I just couldn’t understand it.

As the hot water rained down on my back, I thought about what else I could try my hand at. I had no other hobbies or hidden talents. Hell, baking wasn’t even a hobby for me. I had naively believed that it’d be an easy niche to get into, but I’d been wrong.

So very wrong.

Maybe Coops had some ideas. Hell, maybe a podcast would have better results. Everyone in the world had podcasts nowadays, and you didn’t have to worry about censorship or anything like that. Any fool with a voice could spew nonsense ‘til their heart’s desire, and people would eat that crap up.

When nothing came to mind, I decided to save my indecision for another time. I needed to get to sleep, and worrying about all the skills that I didn’t possess wasn’t going to help me with that.

Chapter 4

Let’s Try That Again.

Heron~

My heart was beating rapidly inside my chest, and I couldn’t ever remember feeling this anxious, not even when I’d had to face my first fire all those years ago. Still, I wasn’t about to back down now. When Eliza had muttered the idea of having guests on her episodes, I’d seen that as a sign. Albeit a crazy one, but a sign, nonetheless.

RapierHooker:Hello, you don’t know me, but I’ve been watching your show, and I’d like to come on as a guest if you were serious.

I hit send, letting out a shaky breath. You’d think that I was a twelve-year-old boy with his first crush, but there was just something about Eliza Dodger that had me interested as hell. Maybe it was how she refused to give up. Maybe it was how positive she stayed as she faced her failures. As a firefighter and athlete, I could appreciate both those characteristics.

I was about to set my phone aside, but when it chimed with a notification, I got excited.

What’sNextwEliza:Thank you for watching, but my channel is designated for all ages.

RapierHooker:I don’t see how that’s a problem.

What’sNextwEliza:Well, I suppose that we can keep your profession a secret. What other hobbies do you have?

I started laughing. I’d had my handle for so long that I hadn’t even considered that she could get the wrong idea when I had messaged her.

RapierHooker:I’m a different kind of hooker, Ms. Dodger. I play rugby for the California Rapiers. During the off-season, I’m a firefighter.

What’sNextwEliza:I’m so sorry! I’ve never watched rugby, though there’s nothing wrong with being a hooker, hooker.

I had to read that twice.

RapierHooker:There’s not?

What’sNextwEliza:You’re messaging someone that can’t make something as simple as a cupcake, Mr. RapierHooker. I’m the last person that should be judging someone for how they choose to make a living.

I laughed again. Eliza Dodger was a breath of fresh air, indeed.

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