Page 20 of The Breakup

I nodded, because there was no point in not being honest. “Unless you find yourself single. Then give me a call and I’ll show you what sex is really about. I’ll fuck you so good you won’t even remember your name, let alone his.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, okay then. Sounds good,” she said. “Thanks. Take care.”

Then she bolted. In the living room she grabbed her purse off the table and went out the front door without a glance back. The door slammed shut. I went over to the coffee table, grabbed a jelly doughnut, and bit it. I tore a piece off, went back into the kitchen, and handed it to Camp. “Here you go, buddy. Pretty girl left us some tasty treats.”

I found a sippy cup in the cupboard then poured his milk, taking another bite of the doughnut and trying not to regret letting her go.

Which I already was.

So I did the only logical thing I could.

I pulled out my phone and texted a brunette who was always up for a good time, with no strings attached.

Bella was likely going to marry her cheating fiancé and I was going to raise my son, work hard, and stick to women who just wanted a fun fuck.

End of story.

“Mo!” Camp screamed, holding out his hand for another piece of doughnut.

“Yeah,” I told him. “I want more too.”

More of everything.

—

“Get it together,” my mother hissed at me from behind a pomegranate mimosa by the window I was blindly staring out of. “Everyone knows something is wrong.”

I turned from the view of the water, sprawling out before me with picture-perfect perfection. I felt numb. Like my entire body had been cryogenically frozen. My thoughts had dulled, slowed to a sluggish muddy river, and I couldn’t seem to focus on anything in particular. I had been smiling and saying the right things to my guests and giving squeals of excitement on cue, but there was nothing behind it. No genuine emotion. All I could think was that it was all a lie. My entire relationship was a lie.

“Bradley is cheating on me,” I murmured under my breath. “I just found out last night, I’m sorry.”

“Is that what this is all about?” She looked taken aback. “Oh good Lord, Bella, you should know by now monogamy is a myth.”

I was so shocked I was speechless. “What are you talking about? No. No, I don’t know that.”

She looked at me like I was being childish. “Just please pull it together and be the hostess I know you can be.”

“Sure,” I said. I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t screaming. I was just…empty.

But I turned and I smiled. Bridal Barbie. Calm. Cool. Numb.

When Bradley showed up at the end of the brunch to give me a ride home as planned, I smiled at him because that felt normal. I was pretending everything was normal, that this was all the way it was supposed to be, not some colossal joke like it actually felt. I must have looked crazy. Certifiable.

He brushed my cheek with his lips and murmured in my ear, “What the fuck, you look insane. Pull it together.”

Pull it together.

The same thing my mother had said.

I stared into the dark brown eyes of the man I thought I had known and loved and something inside me broke. It was as if his words had wrapped around me, squeezed and grabbed my insides, and tossed them onto the floor.

And when you throw something that is frozen it either remains solid or it shatters.

I shattered.

But only on the inside.

On the outside, I stayed the same.

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