Page 19 of The Breakup

Rolling onto my side to test my head for a hangover, I was pleased there was no evidence of a headache. I had slept in my dress, which was probably wrinkled beyond belief, and in my makeup, which meant I was bound to have a zit pop up in the next day or two. I didn’t think I could tumble much lower than this. Camp rolled onto his stomach, his diaper rustling, and went onto his knees. Then he spotted me. He hauled himself up with the railings and stared at me.

“Hi,” he said, waving.

That little voice warmed my heart. “Hi. I’m Bella,” I said.

“Up,” he demanded, lifting his arms out to me.

“Okay, I can do that.” I had no idea what time it was, but I couldn’t resist that little face. He had sleepy eyes and pink-stained cheeks. So I stood up and went over to him with a smile. “Come here, baby.”

The fact that he did without hesitation warmed my heart. I lifted his small, warm body into my arms. He was heavy with sleep and collapsed willingly against my chest. “Good morning,” I whispered, kissing the top of his downy head. There really is nothing like the guileless trust of a small child. I wasn’t sure exactly how old Camp was, but I would guess around eighteen months. And that horrible, icky girl who had given birth to him had left him. I wasn’t sure how anyone could do that. It went against everything inside me and it made me feel protective of this little guy.

The door opened and Christian was there, wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts. So now he put a shirt on? It seemed a little delayed, but I was just grateful I didn’t have to deal with more bare chest.

His short hair was sticking up. “Good morning,” he said, scratching his arm. “Sorry if Camp woke you up.”

“It’s fine,” I said, and I meant it. I moved toward him since Camp had spotted his father and gave a hearty “Dada!”

“Hi, buddy.” Christian made a funny face for his son. “How are you feeling?” he asked me.

“Fine.” It was a basic answer. Not necessarily a lie but not the full truth. I had too many emotions to even unravel them. “Do you want Dada?” I asked Camp, rubbing his back and smiling down at him.

When I looked up to hand Camp over to Christian, he was giving me an odd, intense look. “What?” I asked, the smile falling off my face.

“Nothing,” he said shortly. “Do you want coffee?”

I did, but I thought it might be smarter to go to a coffee shop. I had overstayed my welcome as it was. “No, thanks. I have brunch plans today.” My bridal brunch. Something I had been looking forward to for months and now wanted to bail on. I was going to have to smile and be fakey-fake in front of the eight women who meant the most to me in the world. “Thanks for everything, Christian, seriously.” I passed his son over to him. “I came storming in here like a crazy woman and you handled it well.”

“I think I got you drunk, actually,” he said with a grin. But then his expression sobered. “I’m not here to tell you what to do, Bella. And I’m the last person on the planet to give advice.”

I tensed up, waiting for him to tell me that I deserved more than Bradley was offering or that I needed to remember my self-worth. But he just turned and moved down the hall. What the hell? I stood there, feeling baffled.

“That’s it?” I demanded, following him. “That’s all you’re going to say?”

—

I stopped walking at Bella’s confused and disgusted tone. Oh yeah. Here was the princess part of her personality. I hadn’t given her what she wanted and she didn’t like that. But she had no idea what she was doing to me. Showing up at my house, being vulnerable, making me dig deep and do the right thing by rejecting her sexual requests. Holding my son like a natural, which pissed me off.

She looked like a mother with Camp.

Yet Ali, who had given birth to him, couldn’t be bothered.

I had told her the truth. She really didn’t want my advice on how to live her life because I was fucking mine up every chance I got.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, giving her a smirk. She didn’t seem to understand that she was doing herself no favors by hanging around me. I had wanted to revenge fuck her. Now I just wanted her to leave because I found myself liking her, and that was really damn stupid. It was one thing to hook up with a girl who was engaged and who liked to get her nasty on the side. But everything was wrong about the situation with Bella. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

That seemed to fluster her. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t know. Never mind.” She actually pushed past me and went into the living room. She started cleaning up the doughnuts and the wine from the night before. She closed the doughnut box and took the empty wine bottle to the kitchen.

“You don’t have to do that,” I told her. “I can take care of it.” I put Camp into his highchair and went to get him some milk from the fridge. I really just wanted Bella to get the fuck out of my mother’s house because it was messing with my head. I didn’t need this complication in my life. My boring, average, jacked-up life.

“It’s the least I can do.” She actually took a sponge and washed the wineglasses and carefully set them in the dish rack. She wiped her hands on a dish towel.

The problem with Bella was that she was both beautiful and sweet. She was a decent human being who appeared to genuinely like children, mine included, and that was all really fucking attractive. Yet she was unavailable, and this kind of unavailable was the kind you really can’t touch. Hands off.

That pissed me off.

I went over to her and took the dish towel from her hand. “Thanks again for bailing me out. And good luck with your marriage. Or calling off your wedding, whatever you decide.” I had a feeling she might go through with the wedding. She seemed the type to be concerned about not appearing selfish. In my opinion dumping that guy’s ass wouldn’t be selfish, it would be pure survival, but who the hell am I to talk about what’s right and wrong?

“So this is goodbye?” She gave me a small smile. “That’s your polite dismissal.”

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