Page 14 of The Breakup

I heard Bella’s words. But it still took me a second to process them. “What?” She looked embarrassed yet determined. Her lip was quivering.

“I need…improvement. And I thought you could help.”

And that would be my dick getting instantly hard. She wanted a damn tutorial on how to be a better fuck? Holy shit. Could anything be hotter? It really couldn’t. Except I needed to know why she thought she sucked at sex. I wasn’t sure I had ever met a woman who doubted her ability in bed. Most women were smart enough to realize that if they showed up and got naked it was going to be enough for a lot of men. Enthusiasm went a long way.

I stroked her arm with my thumb. “So what makes you think you need help? I’m pretty sure you get naked, suck a little dick, and it’s all good. You can’t really mess it up.”

She just shook her head. “Apparently I can. I’m…boring.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

I was having a hard time visualizing what she meant by that. Did she literally not move? Did she talk about shopping while she was being fucked? Like what the hell did that actually mean? I had been with a lot of women, and there were only a few that I would label as boring. One girl, we had just had zero chemistry. We had both been bored and slightly annoyed with each other. Another had winced every time I touched her. That hadn’t been boring as much as disturbing as fuck.

I didn’t picture Bella being like either of those chicks.

“I mean I’m boring!” she repeated, flustered. “I don’t know.”

“Do you like sex?” I asked, figuring that might be as good a place as any to start. I bent down and picked up her wineglass and handed it to her. She might need some liquid courage to finish what she had started.

She gave a jerky nod. “Yes.” She took a huge sip of her wine. “I definitely do.”

That was a fucking relief. “That’s good. If you didn’t like sex I am not sure what I could tell you.”

“I mean, I like it overall,” she said, waving her hand out in an arch. “But there are certain things I don’t like.”

Here came the disclaimers. “Like what?” I couldn’t imagine she would get into fetishes, but otherwise I had no idea what a woman like Bella would object to.

“Well.” She took a drink. “I don’t like butt…things.” She gestured to her ass in case it wasn’t clear, I guess.

I knew she didn’t mean to be funny, but it was. “So you don’t want to get fucked up the ass? I don’t think that’s a deal breaker for a lot of guys.” Especially if they had a decent-sized cock. A lot of women had a hard no when it came to taking a big dick in the back door. I reached for the bottle of wine and refilled both our glasses.

“This is so awkward.” Bella put her hands on her cheeks and took a deep breath. She collapsed back onto the couch and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I don’t like oral sex either. Giving it or receiving it.”

That gave me pause. In my experience, nine out of ten women wanted me to go down on them all damn day long. “You don’t like having your pussy eaten?”

“Oh my God! Do you have to say it like that?” Her cheeks were pink and she gave me a look of disapproval.

“What, pussy?” It had been a long time since I’d met a woman who appeared as outraged at the word as Bella did. Maybe that summer a social worker convinced my mom to send us to church camp and I made it my goal to get kicked out by talking dirty to as many fellow campers as I could. Since then, nope. Bella was definitely a new kind of woman to me.

“Isn’t there another way to say it? Oral sex seems more tasteful.”

“Tasteful is one way to put it.”

She made a sound of distress.

Bella wasn’t just a princess. She was a prude. “You really don’t like having your pussy eaten?” I repeated because I was taking far too much pleasure in watching her bluster. Call it payback for her calling me a loser. Or more likely it was just fascinating. I had never met someone who was so uncomfortable with basic sex talk.

“No. I do not. I think it’s highly overrated. And anything like spanking or bondage. I totally don’t get that. I didn’t like being spanked as a kid, why would I like that now?”

I was torn between wanting to laugh and taking her over my knee and showing her exactly why she would like it. “It’s a whole different animal as an adult, sweetheart. Trust me.” Spanking Bella held a lot of fucking appeal. Damn. I shifted my cock in my jeans, needing more room.

She noticed the movement and her eyes widened. “What is…”

I shrugged. “I pictured spanking you. Sue me.”

Bella drained her second glass of wine and reached for another doughnut. “No one is coming home anytime soon, are they?”

“No.” I shook my head. “My mother is in Boston for the night and my sister works until two in the morning.” I took a sip of my wine and went to sit next to her. I bumped my knee against hers. “So what is it you want from me? If you want verbal instruction or advice from a guy, you can find that in a book or online. I don’t think that’s what you’re asking for, is it?”

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