Page 70 of Atonement

He picked up the ring and set aside the box, but stopped short of putting it on my finger. “Why?”

“Because I love you, Meyer.” I moved my hand forward slightly, the tip of my finger just passing through the ring. “What brought us together was horrible, that’s true. But we got through it because we stuck together. Neither of us would be standing here today if we hadn’t held on to each other.”

Still, he was frozen, refusing to give me the ring I thought he’d offered freely. “How can you know?”

“Because I knowyou. Every inch of you. And I love the dark parts just as much as the light. Together, we can make the dark parts a permanent relic of the past.”

He slid the ring on my finger, until it fit snugly against my skin like it was always meant to be there.

I kissed him.

Everyone around us cheered.

Maddie

“I need help,” I muttered, staring at myself in the mirror dejectedly.

“What’s that?” Meyer poked his head into the bathroom, smiling through the fog left from my shower.

“Help, please.” I flung my head back and groaned as he chuckled, coming up behind me and resting his hands on my belly lightly. I had been having more and more trouble getting dressed over the past few weeks, and apparently today I hit my limit. There was no more bending over to pull on my underwear and leggings.

“With pleasure.” He kissed my shoulder and reached around me to grab my clothes off the counter, then crouched in front of me and held out my panties. He placed more kisses on each of my legs as I stepped into them, then helped me with my leggings. They were pretty much the only thing I wore anymore, assuming I wore pants at all, since I’d been placed on bed rest six months into my pregnancy. Thankfully the house had been finished quickly and we were moved in before I even found out I was pregnant—neither of us had any desire for our baby to grow up at all in the house where so many horrors had taken place.

The day of the positive test, only a few months after we got back from Paris, Meyer panicked again.

“We don’t have to do this,” he said. “We’re rushing things. We just decided to get married.” He was folding clothes as he spoke, mismatched socks falling into a pile on the bed while I huddled beneath blankets with my head in a pillow, trying not to throw up. Realizing how his stress was affecting me, he abandoned the pile of underwear and came around to sit next to me, rubbing my back.

“It’s okay.” I rolled over and grabbed his hands, kissing his thumbs. “This is how things were meant to be. You and me. Us.”

“Are you supposed to be this sick? Maybe it’s a bad sign.”

“If anything it’s perfectly normal.” I paused and took a deep breath, swallowing back my nausea. When I looked into his eyes again, they were crinkled with worry. “Meyer, trust me. I’ve been preparing for this my whole life.”

“What if…” He looked away. I knew what he wanted to ask, but he had to say the words himself. His lip trembled and he took back one of his hands to wipe at his face. “What if I’m no good at this? What if I’m just like him?”

I didn’t say anything as I shifted my hands underneath me, pushing myself up by inches to keep my discomfort at a manageable level. When I was sitting up all the way, I took his face in my hands and pulled him back to me.

“You won’t be. You’re already not like him. You never have been.”

He put one hand on my hip, thumb tapping lightly on my stomach. I knew he didn’t believe me, and that was okay. I’d keep telling him until he did.

The next day he dragged me to the courthouse so we could get married on paper, and he started the paperwork to change his last name. He didn’t want any stain of his father’s name on the child. Luckily, his name change was easier than changing the name of his company. It took him a few weeks, but by the time we first saw the tiniest heartbeat on the ultrasound screen, his eyes were filled with wonder instead of fear.

Now we were only a few weeks from the baby’s due date, if I made it that far. Meyer had mapped out the best routes to the hospital based on the time of day, and also had a private ambulance on standby in case we needed more immediate evacuation. I wasn’t worried, though. Meyer had already proven himself to be the most caring and attentive husband I could have asked for, and I had no doubt those traits would carry over to fatherhood.

With some struggling, I made it into all my clothes and stood panting for a few seconds, leaning on Meyer for support even though I was perfectly capable of standing on my own. I just liked to touch him. He fought a smile as he put one arm around my waist and guided me through the door.

“Don’t gloat,” I warned as he helped me into bed. “I’m going to exact my revenge on you with a very cranky baby.”

“I would expect nothing less,” he said, plumping the pillows behind my back so I was sitting up a little more. “By the way, your mom texted me. Joshua called her today. He’ll be coming down with Kiki for the birth, and will stay with them for a week or so to help out.”

“Good. I’m glad she’s bringing him out of his shell a little bit.” Joshua had been determined to isolate himself from us when he bought his property up North. He’d come down a couple of times to visit Mom—andonlyMom—but since this girl came into his life he’d been a changed man. It reminded me a bit of Meyer.

“You and me both. Are you going to be okay while I’m out? Your mom will swing by if she doesn’t hear anything in an hour or so.”

I grimaced as he looped a tie around his neck. Why did he have to plan a fancy business deal with the New York senators tonight of all night?

“I don’t think I will, actually. You might want to change out of that suit.”

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